Sequence Of Events In A 498A FIR

The credit goes to Mr Gupta for compiling this valuable info.  As and when I have the time, I will incorporate this into The 498A Survival Kit.

Here are the steps:

This is ‘Police Warrant’ case i.e. instituted on police complaint (complaint given by ‘Informant’ i.e. wife in this case)

1] F.I.R.

2] Police Investigation (if at all takes place) & arrest without any necessity of warrant. In some States, D.C.P.’s permission is required for arrest.

3] Bail. Police asks for ‘Police Custody’ (called ‘PC’) for interrogation and recovery of articles (S.406 IPC). Accused submits custodial interrogation is not necessary etc. Then magistrate pass order for ‘Judicial Custody’ (called ‘JC’). Then accused apply for ‘bail’, say from ‘police prosecutor’ (called ‘pp’) and Investigation Officer (called I/O) is asked by court who always strongly objects religiously and then on argument from accused counsel it is granted (or not granted, then go to session to High Court to Supreme Court, at some place it is given). Important fact is that ‘bail’ is always granted from ‘JC’ AND NOT FROM ‘PC’. The process in legal fraternity is called breaking ‘PC’ to ‘JC’.

4] Then no need to attend court. On filing charge sheet, police sends summons or make telephone call to attend court to receive charge sheet, till such time – no need to attend court. However a tab shall always be maintained on chargesheet as many times police/court dont send information to accused at the time of filing chargesheet, but it does not harm accused except that precious time is killed.

5] At the time of receiving chargesheet which is given free of cost to ‘each’ accused by ‘pp’ in court, sometime court asks accused whether they are guilty, normally accused say – not guilty. Check the charge sheet – it is also called ‘Final Report’ – there should be a table showing list of witnesses and documents – many times it is not given, tell court for any discrepancy in it.

6] Then dates, accused must attend them or take exemption u/s205 of Cr.P.C. (permanent till trial starts).

7] Firstly, charges are framed u/s240 Cr.P.C. (if discharge application not made u/s239 Cr.P.C.) when accused can oppose.

8] Then First witness – wife – PW1 – PP asks question to her based on her complaint to take FIR on court record. Then accused’s counsel cross examine her.

9] Then her father (Pw-2), Mother (PW-3), Sister (PW-4) etc. whomsoever I/O has taken as witnesses and taken statements (which are given with chargesheet to accused).

10] Then I/O’s examination-in-chief by PP and cross by accused’s advocate (counsel).

11] With this, prosecution evidence closed. If accused has any witness, they can be called as defence witnesses (normally not called as they may by mistake say something against accused in cross examination). First accused’s advocate will take examination-in-chief and then PP will take cross-examine (prosecutin and defence role changes).

12] Accused are examined by magistrate u/s313 Cr.P.C.

13] Then PP gives argument, then accused’s advocate gives argument.

14] Enjoy – Now order – Acquittal/Sentencing.

15] Detailed written order is given after few days.

To get from point 1 to point 15, will take years. On the flip side, 498A conviction rates are very low, something like 2%. And then there is always the option to file appeals to the HC, SC and god  if a conviction occurs.

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143 Responses to “Sequence Of Events In A 498A FIR”


  1. 1 swathi reddy July 10, 2009 at 6:52 am

    Excellent informative article- nicely written. This law is breaking so many homes. Women being pitted against women. As always India’s women will wake up and protest. Until then the practice will continue. I do not think the legislature or executive or the judiciary will be able to make any changes until the women themselves rise and protest.

    Like

    • 2 Anonymous April 30, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      Hello Advisers,

      I’m a Software Engineer by profession working in a MNC as a Team Leader.My qualification is B.Tech + Executive MBA. I got married 2 years back in 2014. My wife’s qualification is M.Sc & was working after marriage in a pre-school for 1.5 years(Salary-4500/- Rs per month). Our life was going very smooth during these 2 years(Feb,2014 to Feb,2016). I went abroad for 1 month in Feb,2016 & my wife went to her parental home for that time. Once I came back, I was supposed to go to bring her from parental home. But I couldn’t go because of work-pressure. She asked me to send money for rail ticket & she booked ticket & came to my city on 10th April,2016….I picked her up from Railway Station. We came back home, we enjoyed lunch, Dinner…We enjoyed movie together at home. Suddenly while going to Bed She asked me to get separated from my parents & live with her only. I told her that “This is 2AM in the night, this is not the right time to talk about all these. For sure I will not get separated from my parents because for 2 years marriage I can’t forget my parents 29 years struggle for my upbringings. If I need to get separated from my parents for situational demand in future, I may not be able to forgive you ever”. Then we got intimated & I slept finally. After I slept, she deleted all her relatives’ contact number from my cell-phone(Except her parents number) & she stole our original marriage certificate from my file. On next day i.e. 11th April me & my dad went to office & my sister(18 years old) went to school(She is in STD XII). My wife went to school at 12PM & called my mom from school only & told that she will be late due to some meetings. My mom never eat lunch without my wife. So, my mom kept on waiting for my wife. At 4:30PM My mom called me to check where is my wife as she was supposed to come back by that time. I called her, she picked up my phone & told that she boarded the train & going back to her native place & she will never come back. I asked her why she took that big decision? She said because I didn’t obey her order last night. Also she threatened me to file 498A against me & my family. I tried to call her parents & relatives as well taking the numbers from my mom’s phone. Everyone is using abusive languages & blaming us on false allegations like –

      1. “My mom didn’t give her food” –> Reality is told above.
      2. “I didn’t consult doctor for her during 2 years” –> Reality is that I’ve bunch of prescriptions of last 2 years(She forgot to steal these).
      3. “I was Suspecting her” –> Reality is opposite, She was suspecting me with many girls without any reason.
      4. “I didn’t give priority to her” –> Reality is that I didn’t obey her order of staying separated from my parents.

      & lot more, which I myself can understand are false. So, I think there must be some hidden reason at the center of the circle & They are running around with all those false allegations at the circumference of the circle.

      They have stopped all the communication channels. She blocked me from FB, Gmail etc. When I called her, she didn’t pick up the call & her mother asked me to go to their place if I’m guilty & sort this matter out & as per them I have to sign a legal document infront of them so that I will be permanently separated from my parents. We called them so many times after so much humiliations but they didn’t even call a single time to us.

      It’s been 20 days my wife left me & my life is like hell. What should I do, Please suggest…

      Like

      • 3 sharveri June 17, 2016 at 7:02 am

        hi same happend with me i got married last year me n my husband was in relation ship for 2yrs and then we got married lst year after marriage he i felt so many changes in his behavioural he was not treating me as wife (physically) one day we had a fight he called to my parents and told them to take me with them i left my husband’s house and afterwords he shifted from that rented house to somewhere else he didnt told me where he shifted i called him to take me with him but he didnt come my parents contiuously calling my laws for meeting but they always avoied for meeting and my husband blocked me form FB , Whats app, from calls also he blocked me i was searching him ftom last 7 months but he is not telling his current address to me i have not even did a single police complaint about him and his parents i was thinking he will come to take me but he didnt come now he is asking for divorce i asked him what is the reason for divorce he is not even telling me what is the reason of divorce i dont no wt to do nowwwww plz help me out

        Like

  2. 4 swathi reddy July 10, 2009 at 9:50 am

    Excellent informative article- nicely written. This law is breaking so many homes. Women being pitted against women. As always India’s women will wake up and protest. Until then the practice will continue. I do not think the legislature or executive or the judiciary will be able to make any changes until the women themselves rise and protest.
    P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!

    Like

    • 5 Anonymous April 30, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      Hello Advisers,

      I’m a Software Engineer by profession working in a MNC as a Team Leader.My qualification is B.Tech + Executive MBA. I got married 2 years back in 2014. My wife’s qualification is M.Sc & was working after marriage in a pre-school for 1.5 years(Salary-4500/- Rs per month). Our life was going very smooth during these 2 years(Feb,2014 to Feb,2016). I went abroad for 1 month in Feb,2016 & my wife went to her parental home for that time. Once I came back, I was supposed to go to bring her from parental home. But I couldn’t go because of work-pressure. She asked me to send money for rail ticket & she booked ticket & came to my city on 10th April,2016….I picked her up from Railway Station. We came back home, we enjoyed lunch, Dinner…We enjoyed movie together at home. Suddenly while going to Bed She asked me to get separated from my parents & live with her only. I told her that “This is 2AM in the night, this is not the right time to talk about all these. For sure I will not get separated from my parents because for 2 years marriage I can’t forget my parents 29 years struggle for my upbringings. If I need to get separated from my parents for situational demand in future, I may not be able to forgive you ever”. Then we got intimated & I slept finally. After I slept, she deleted all her relatives’ contact number from my cell-phone(Except her parents number) & she stole our original marriage certificate from my file. On next day i.e. 11th April me & my dad went to office & my sister(18 years old) went to school(She is in STD XII). My wife went to school at 12PM & called my mom from school only & told that she will be late due to some meetings. My mom never eat lunch without my wife. So, my mom kept on waiting for my wife. At 4:30PM My mom called me to check where is my wife as she was supposed to come back by that time. I called her, she picked up my phone & told that she boarded the train & going back to her native place & she will never come back. I asked her why she took that big decision? She said because I didn’t obey her order last night. Also she threatened me to file 498A against me & my family. I tried to call her parents & relatives as well taking the numbers from my mom’s phone. Everyone is using abusive languages & blaming us on false allegations like –

      1. “My mom didn’t give her food” –> Reality is told above.
      2. “I didn’t consult doctor for her during 2 years” –> Reality is that I’ve bunch of prescriptions of last 2 years(She forgot to steal these).
      3. “I was Suspecting her” –> Reality is opposite, She was suspecting me with many girls without any reason.
      4. “I didn’t give priority to her” –> Reality is that I didn’t obey her order of staying separated from my parents.

      & lot more, which I myself can understand are false. So, I think there must be some hidden reason at the center of the circle & They are running around with all those false allegations at the circumference of the circle.

      They have stopped all the communication channels. She blocked me from FB, Gmail etc. When I called her, she didn’t pick up the call & her mother asked me to go to their place if I’m guilty & sort this matter out & as per them I have to sign a legal document infront of them so that I will be permanently separated from my parents. We called them so many times after so much humiliations but they didn’t even call a single time to us.

      It’s been 20 days my wife left me & my life is like hell. What should I do, Please suggest…

      Like

  3. 6 Jayalakshmi July 18, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Sir,

    Very informative and comfortng for people who are harassed through 498A. I appreciate the efforts behind these articles.

    I would like to know, if you can give some guidance to some of the dowry vicitms too, who are REALLY suffering due to desertion and cheating by husband and in-laws. Husband denied wife all her conjugal rights, denied her future married life, milked her parents money,loaded her with credit card debts and deserted her. He has been
    absconding since two years (H4 Visa- ironically she had H1). She came back to look for him in India and he bolted to US, showinghe is dependant on her . The visas have since expired, she cant go back on H1, he is illegal in USA.( enjoying himself in women, wine and Facebook, My space what not!) The parents are are feeding money to all and sudry and refuse to give her even their son’s address. she is stranded, her life in a mess, and her youth wilting away.

    What do you think her fate will be? Will it be another statistics of 498A , case not proven?. Where is the justice in this? . Will her case be 2% or 98%?
    Will anyone guide her?

    Thanks for your patience.

    I found there are so many forums guiding men for false dowry cases. I have not found one forum for genuine viticms. Who will they turn to?

    Like

    • 7 M July 31, 2009 at 5:24 pm

      Jaya,
      Well you should file for divorce on desertion ground and get on with your life. Where is the case for dowry in your situation? There is misappropriation of funds at least prima facie. using that if you file a 498A , which means that your husband really drove you to suicide for want for dowry, it falls flat for many reasons. You are not staying together and he is dependent on you. You may end up paying maintenance as well. Do not believe the gullible lawyer who promises you that he will recover all the money you had spent on him. The scales may tilt in his favor. My sincere advice is to file for civil action in India or USA, send summons and get ex-parte and be done with him. He will anyway not respond, unless he also wants revenge on you for he may have his own reasons as you had. Keep it civil 99% of the time.

      Think…… Do not go for revenge. Why waste your youth. Paint your life with color, when you have a chance.

      Like

    • 8 bhupesh August 20, 2009 at 6:38 pm

      If thats the case she must have done her part & now crying in front of everyone for what is happening. i m not biased but that was the story in my daily routine.
      if she deserves it she will suffer

      Like

    • 9 Ashwini January 26, 2016 at 5:39 am

      True very true I m the one among victim fighting for justice even I want guidelines how I should proceed my case can anyone help can anyone listen n guide me

      Like

      • 10 Anamika April 26, 2016 at 4:08 pm

        Its really happening i my self is suffering fro. Same n law seems only for ones who are having money n are lairs no help for real suffers.

        Like

    • 11 Anonymous April 30, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      Hello Advisers,

      I’m a Software Engineer by profession working in a MNC as a Team Leader.My qualification is B.Tech + Executive MBA. I got married 2 years back in 2014. My wife’s qualification is M.Sc & was working after marriage in a pre-school for 1.5 years(Salary-4500/- Rs per month). Our life was going very smooth during these 2 years(Feb,2014 to Feb,2016). I went abroad for 1 month in Feb,2016 & my wife went to her parental home for that time. Once I came back, I was supposed to go to bring her from parental home. But I couldn’t go because of work-pressure. She asked me to send money for rail ticket & she booked ticket & came to my city on 10th April,2016….I picked her up from Railway Station. We came back home, we enjoyed lunch, Dinner…We enjoyed movie together at home. Suddenly while going to Bed She asked me to get separated from my parents & live with her only. I told her that “This is 2AM in the night, this is not the right time to talk about all these. For sure I will not get separated from my parents because for 2 years marriage I can’t forget my parents 29 years struggle for my upbringings. If I need to get separated from my parents for situational demand in future, I may not be able to forgive you ever”. Then we got intimated & I slept finally. After I slept, she deleted all her relatives’ contact number from my cell-phone(Except her parents number) & she stole our original marriage certificate from my file. On next day i.e. 11th April me & my dad went to office & my sister(18 years old) went to school(She is in STD XII). My wife went to school at 12PM & called my mom from school only & told that she will be late due to some meetings. My mom never eat lunch without my wife. So, my mom kept on waiting for my wife. At 4:30PM My mom called me to check where is my wife as she was supposed to come back by that time. I called her, she picked up my phone & told that she boarded the train & going back to her native place & she will never come back. I asked her why she took that big decision? She said because I didn’t obey her order last night. Also she threatened me to file 498A against me & my family. I tried to call her parents & relatives as well taking the numbers from my mom’s phone. Everyone is using abusive languages & blaming us on false allegations like –

      1. “My mom didn’t give her food” –> Reality is told above.
      2. “I didn’t consult doctor for her during 2 years” –> Reality is that I’ve bunch of prescriptions of last 2 years(She forgot to steal these).
      3. “I was Suspecting her” –> Reality is opposite, She was suspecting me with many girls without any reason.
      4. “I didn’t give priority to her” –> Reality is that I didn’t obey her order of staying separated from my parents.

      & lot more, which I myself can understand are false. So, I think there must be some hidden reason at the center of the circle & They are running around with all those false allegations at the circumference of the circle.

      They have stopped all the communication channels. She blocked me from FB, Gmail etc. When I called her, she didn’t pick up the call & her mother asked me to go to their place if I’m guilty & sort this matter out & as per them I have to sign a legal document infront of them so that I will be permanently separated from my parents. We called them so many times after so much humiliations but they didn’t even call a single time to us.

      It’s been 20 days my wife left me & my life is like hell. What should I do, Please suggest…

      Like

  4. 12 The Fountainhead August 4, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    M,
    “Misappropriation of funds” ? Im seriously tring to control my laughter. Where did you get that from? She said “milked her parents money”. If thats true then its Dowry.

    If dowry has indeed taken place then its her Duty to go to courts and file a dowry case, and since he deserted her it could very well fall under 498a.

    The dowry victims job is to go to court. Its upto the judge to decide if husband is guilty or not. Who are we, or “you” to give a clean chit to the guy beforehand? You are not trained as a lawyer! A Judge is. Let the judge decide.

    Its not woman’s fault that the law is as you say “screwed up”. We didnt draft it. Go vent your frustration at the government. Why should we women (who are genuine victims of dowry and abuse) suffer? Just because the law is so harsh, we should sit at home cursing our fate while he marries another woman again laughing his way to the bank with her dowry? And then abuses her again and takes dowry again!

    But Oh, you said “dont use any law at all” “Dont take revenge”. I think you should look up the meaning of revenge pal. Its not revenge – its called law enforcement. Murder, rape, theft, assault, domestic violence, dowry, extortion – those who commit these crimes go to jail. End of story. Do not try to intimidate and scare women like Jaya, just so that you save other criminals – people you identify with. What she wants to do with “youth” and how she wants to “color her youth” is none of your business. Its her personal matter.

    Let me say once and for all. Its ALL dowry victim’s Duty as a citizen to report criminals to court, so that judges will investigate and take necessary action to rid society of evils of dowry. If these case dont get reported, then the next woman to get screwed up by a wife beater may be your sister.

    Intimidating witnesses and telling victims not to report is a crime.

    Like

    • 13 Sheetal June 12, 2012 at 8:50 am

      I love your response…. Awesome…

      Like

      • 14 Yash January 25, 2013 at 12:52 pm

        Dear Fountainhead ,

        I am a guy who suffered from false 498a… you know whats the reason? . I just didn’t agree for my wife’s demand of staying separately from my parents … yess its a trivial reason … my parents are aged and I am the only son. If i leave them and be “independent” with my wife then who will look after them ?
        I just told my wifes parents straight that i cant leave my parents.. and i wont leave my wife as well..
        what happened next was my wife’s dad took my wife to his house and told me that “until i (me) make a seperate house i wont send my daughter”.

        I told I cant make seperate house just for the sake of it !! the week later i get police complaint of dowry harassment!!

        This has become a strategy of such girls father who use thier daughter (just lika a pimp) to fulfil their needs …

        This is hard truth happening in india!!

        It has become a trend for indian girls to use this law to make husband to listen to whatever unlawful demand they ask.

        for your information I never took a single rupee for dowry and i was slammed with dowry harrassment case !!!

        i loved my wife a lot for that i was slammed with domestic violence and maintainance…

        Just think from the guys perspective when the guy loves his wife and he is slammed with DV!! . I was asked to pay 25 Lakhs so that they take back compalaint from police station !! what kind of law is this ?? Shame on those women who support such criminal womens.

        I can say women who use 498a other than its really intended are same as whores..

        Like

    • 15 Arjun January 28, 2013 at 9:41 am

      Dear The Dik_head or fountainhead or whatever ,

      I can tell you that you are onr of those who think husbands should be kep under controll .. because your husband doesnt give a damn for your nagging !!! good luck coz if u are married u might soon be a divorcee or heading towards 498a filers list !!

      Regards
      Arjun

      Like

    • 16 Anonymous April 30, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      Hello Advisers,

      I’m a Software Engineer by profession working in a MNC as a Team Leader.My qualification is B.Tech + Executive MBA. I got married 2 years back in 2014. My wife’s qualification is M.Sc & was working after marriage in a pre-school for 1.5 years(Salary-4500/- Rs per month). Our life was going very smooth during these 2 years(Feb,2014 to Feb,2016). I went abroad for 1 month in Feb,2016 & my wife went to her parental home for that time. Once I came back, I was supposed to go to bring her from parental home. But I couldn’t go because of work-pressure. She asked me to send money for rail ticket & she booked ticket & came to my city on 10th April,2016….I picked her up from Railway Station. We came back home, we enjoyed lunch, Dinner…We enjoyed movie together at home. Suddenly while going to Bed She asked me to get separated from my parents & live with her only. I told her that “This is 2AM in the night, this is not the right time to talk about all these. For sure I will not get separated from my parents because for 2 years marriage I can’t forget my parents 29 years struggle for my upbringings. If I need to get separated from my parents for situational demand in future, I may not be able to forgive you ever”. Then we got intimated & I slept finally. After I slept, she deleted all her relatives’ contact number from my cell-phone(Except her parents number) & she stole our original marriage certificate from my file. On next day i.e. 11th April me & my dad went to office & my sister(18 years old) went to school(She is in STD XII). My wife went to school at 12PM & called my mom from school only & told that she will be late due to some meetings. My mom never eat lunch without my wife. So, my mom kept on waiting for my wife. At 4:30PM My mom called me to check where is my wife as she was supposed to come back by that time. I called her, she picked up my phone & told that she boarded the train & going back to her native place & she will never come back. I asked her why she took that big decision? She said because I didn’t obey her order last night. Also she threatened me to file 498A against me & my family. I tried to call her parents & relatives as well taking the numbers from my mom’s phone. Everyone is using abusive languages & blaming us on false allegations like –

      1. “My mom didn’t give her food” –> Reality is told above.
      2. “I didn’t consult doctor for her during 2 years” –> Reality is that I’ve bunch of prescriptions of last 2 years(She forgot to steal these).
      3. “I was Suspecting her” –> Reality is opposite, She was suspecting me with many girls without any reason.
      4. “I didn’t give priority to her” –> Reality is that I didn’t obey her order of staying separated from my parents.

      & lot more, which I myself can understand are false. So, I think there must be some hidden reason at the center of the circle & They are running around with all those false allegations at the circumference of the circle.

      They have stopped all the communication channels. She blocked me from FB, Gmail etc. When I called her, she didn’t pick up the call & her mother asked me to go to their place if I’m guilty & sort this matter out & as per them I have to sign a legal document infront of them so that I will be permanently separated from my parents. We called them so many times after so much humiliations but they didn’t even call a single time to us.

      It’s been 20 days my wife left me & my life is like hell. What should I do, Please suggest…

      Like

    • 17 amigaurab July 27, 2016 at 5:28 pm

      DV act is applicable within a short time before and after marriage. If you are spending money for family expenses then its not dowry.
      498A is applicable for dowry harassment, paying money for family expenses is not dowry and hence its not dowry harassment. As long as your husband is not causing a grave mental or physical cruelty which would compel you to commit suicide or you lose your hand feet (loss of limb) you dont come under dowry harassment. Giving money to relatives is not dowry. Dowry is related to marriage and not related to family expenses

      Like

  5. 18 yodha August 6, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    For Fountainhead:
    Strange you did not give any advice to Jaya but trying to find fault with M who did advice.

    >If dowry has indeed taken place then its her Duty to go to courts and file a dowry case, and since he deserted her it could very well fall under 498a.

    Maybe you could help her in doing her ‘Duty’. Desertion is not under 498A, read up IPC 498A first. This is exactly how 498A is getting misused.

    >The dowry victims job is to go to court. Its upto the judge to decide if husband is guilty or not. Who are we, or “you” to give a clean chit to the guy beforehand? You are not trained as a lawyer! A Judge is. Let the judge decide.

    Yeah. pls tell this to Jaya directly if you have guts.

    >Do not try to intimidate and scare women like Jaya, just so that you save other criminals – people you identify with.

    As you yourself said it is job of the judge to pass judgment and not yours, you are the one seemingly trying to intimidate here!

    >Intimidating witnesses and telling victims not to report is a crime.
    Maybe you should take it upon yourself and make a case of intimidation! Go figure.

    Like

  6. 19 Jayalakshmi August 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Fountainhead,

    Thanks a lot . you have said things I wanted to say. I was out of station and had no access to internet. Hope more and more people will come out and fight for truth.

    For M :
    Misappropriation? what misappropriation, Asking for money from in-laws with a view to spend it as he likes?. he does not even remember he has taken so much money under various kinds of veiled threats or show of creulty. It is easy for him to forget all that money takings.
    It is the in-laws and the girl who has to pay back in cash and kind. THey have to face the soceity and face the daily life. They have to lament the loss of so much in their life.

    In the meantime the guy can get divorce and go scot free? You say” this is the way 498A is misused”

    If taking so much money by demanding it every now and then is not dowry . what else is? Demanding a lavish lfiestyle with seeking financial help from wife and in-laws and having no responsibility towards the sacred bond of love and marriage is not cruelty ? what else is?

    You say “get divorce and get on with your life”

    But as a responsible citizen is it not our duty to unmask these criminals?. Educated girls are advised to keep quiet and cut down their losses, so that the guys can continue with the tradition of exhortion and cheating? Is this the way things were going till recently?

    You have given advice as I expected you will. I know our case is based only on truth and we do not want to harm anyone. But when someone harms us to this extent, without giving a thought the “scared marriage and family” , we have to act.

    Here is my request to you.

    I too would like family and marriage to be saved. I too believe , trust and respect people.
    But when cheaters pose as “good citizens” and live as parasites, we have to curtail them.
    Please give your valuable advice , only to genuine guys who are really being targetted.

    Also give advice to women who are suffering. Dont sweep everyone with the same broom.

    My sympathies for guys who are being harassed.

    Hope someone will spare a thought for girls who are targetted too.

    God bless

    Like

  7. 20 The Fountainhead August 11, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    Dear “Misappropriators of funds”

    Lol..im really sorry. Cant help it. I am still finding it funny.. But on a serious note, its not surprising that these men here started a new term for dowry – “misappropriation of funds”. I wonder what they will come up with next.

    Yodha, my dear, my dear, you also make me laugh. M is giving advices? Lol…is he a lawyer or a “certified dowry advisor”?? But wait oh wait he is 498a husband out on bail or whatever his story is!!! Since when did dowry takers start advising society on how to live their lives?

    Well Jaya, most of the members here have been booked under 498a. Few smart women put a string of firecrackers in their behind. They ran helter and skelter and this is where they all landed. I have heard that actions are being taken to outlaw these forums.

    So listen to your gut feeling, talk to lawyers and do the needful. And yes you are right this is the latest trend. These men are “trying” their best to intimidate women (especially working women who have courage and money to take legal recourse) from filing cases by saying its a waste of money, giving wrong directions, and what not screwed up logic.

    Doing the right thing is never a waste of money or youth or the color of youth…whatever…yawn. Im getting outta here.

    P.S I wonder what paint I should use to color my youth…Sherwin Williams or Nerolac. Jaya, let me know how your paint worked.

    Like

  8. 22 yodha August 12, 2009 at 11:41 am

    >>Yodha, my dear, my dear, you also make me laugh. M is giving advices?

    I don’t know why I made you laugh… that was not my attempt but you sure make me laugh!

    >>Well Jaya, most of the members here have been booked under 498a. Few smart women put a string of firecrackers in their behind

    We the sol called 498A-booked-men have put firecrackers on behind of law abusers, wherever they are, whatever their political or judiciary connections may be! They thought they would file a false 498A case, get some extortionary amount as ‘settlement’, take the kid away, and live life happily alone, prefereably with a new ‘bakra’ or old-flame. Guess what, you ain’t gonna get any ‘settlement’ and you will also be running around courts for a long time to come, since 498A is non-compoundable.

    >>I have heard that actions are being taken to outlaw these forums.

    You are mistaken: Actions are being taken to outlaw 498A. Forums against 498A are growing daily and no-one can dare stop them! This is what Supreme court justice and high court judges has also said about 498A misue. They can’t stop such forums. Do you Dare!

    Like

  9. 23 holden August 12, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    Dear Jayalakshmi,

    It is clear he doesn’t want to be with you and seemingly vice versa also. Hence as has been suggested, simply file for divorce and be done with it.

    Ms Fountainhead,
    The reason such debates occur is that certain unscrupluous women brand ‘desertion’ etc as a crime and try to bring it under the ambit of Sec 498A. Since when did desertion become a crime? What about those women who run away with their lovers? Why aren’t they branded criminals? Hence, Sec 498A is conveniently used by the women since it is there and is a default in case a marriage goes sour. As for dowry etc, if it is really the case, the people harassing the women should be prosecuted, but without going into the merits of such claims, just think objectively as to the veracity of such claims. About ‘dowry’ before marriage, it is quite amusing how a ‘gift’ turns into ‘dowry’ once marital discord surfaces.

    Anyway, the debate will continue, but in the near future, 498A women are going to be like that shepherd crying wolf. Go figure.

    Regards

    Like

  10. 24 The Fountainhead August 12, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    Yodha,

    Looks like you just couldnt take the insult. Its fun watching you now. You must be going red with anger. I can only feel sorry for you. Unfortunately, we women and our organizations are too strong. 498a will always remain…even recently attempts to change it was unsuccessful. And maybe it will help you to know that our organizations are taken necessary steps to bring out these websites’ agendas and as usual we will be successful here also.

    These forums are going to be banned and monitored because you are propogating dowry which is already declared a crime.

    Holden,
    I wil just ignore you.

    Like

    • 25 yodha August 12, 2009 at 5:28 pm

      Oh fountainhead, oh so sweet to know that you are a woman.

      No I don’t feel insulted at all! How can a woman insult a man, it is not possible on this planet Earth right? Sorry i forgot I am supposed to be from Mars, you from Venus.

      Actually I like strong women, so-called women organisations are a no-no. But don’t like 498A strong women 🙂 Let them stay single… oh sorry emancipated — is the word for them.

      But you are special… Are you married? I am glad you are ignoring Holden, betcha you can’t ignore me!!

      Like

  11. 26 The Fountainhead August 12, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    Holden,
    Desertion is not the reason for filing 498a…dowry and mental torture is…Since you dont know Jaya’s story and what she went through, neither you nor I can tell her what section her case will legally fall under.

    Instead of advising her…as none of us are trained as legal experts, we should guide her to a lawyer who will correctly understand her story and decide under what section her case legally falls under.

    498a: “This law was formulated to protect young women from being subjected to harassment or torture by their in-laws and/or husbands – for the sake of extorting wealth from the families of these women.”

    She says “he milked her parents for money” and was cruel to her…You may not feel her pain, thats why you are saying there was no cruelty. Only she knows how much she suffered – if she terms it “cruelty” – she should appeal to the courts. Its upto the judge to decide if her cry of “cruelty” is valid or not.

    I cannot understand how this is misuse. Again i repeat, its not the desertion, but the dowry taking and cruelty. Look, the term “cruelty” is vague. You may feel that asking dowry is not cruel, beating wife is not cruel, demanding she obey orders is not cruel….Just because you dont feel its cruel doesnt mean society looks at it this way. Women who file 498a, (not all – i agree some cases are totally fabricated) But cases like Jaya…where is she misusing it?

    Fact- he milked her parents for money. Fact- he mentally tortured her and God knows what else. As long as she presents facts AS IS without ANY distortion, where is the misuse?

    I believe only when the wife FABRICATES stories, only then its misuse.

    As Jaya said…why are you sweeping everyone with the same broom.

    You have gotto to accept that Domestic Violence and Dowry related harrassment is a reality. You cant deny its existence! And where it truly exists, 498a has to be invoked. Your agenda should be against women who lie through their teeth, not against women who have truly suffered.

    I will not suggest that she simply file for divorce and move on…If her husband committed any crime, he should be punished. Give me ONE reason why he should be spared, if he truly committed “dowry” and “cruelty”? If not 498a, then other section. But he cant be let to go free.

    I can understand why you might be defending him, cause you were in the same shoes once or maybe even now are. Thinking logically and maturely cannot be expected from you right now. Its OK.

    Im sure sincere women are not depending on you for advice.

    Like

  12. 27 The Fountainhead August 12, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Yodha,

    Yes, I am pro 498a and sorry to say I have men who support me and will readily marry me even knowing that.

    They know me for a long time and have seen how I have suffered at the hands of my ex. What my ex did to me was for all the world to see.

    Unfortunately, its me now who want to remain single. I am still waking up with nightmares so let alone trust a man again. So, your curse that such women will remain single forever is a blessing to me actually.

    Thank you, however, I hope you dont hate all women. We may fight, but at the end of the day – Men cant live without women and Women cant live without men.

    Good luck and may you find a good wife.

    Like

    • 28 yodha August 12, 2009 at 5:59 pm

      fountainhead,
      Glad to know we are on the same side… against injustice. However presence or absence of these laws don’t protect anyone. The police and judicial system is built to deny justice to the needy. Even excellent laws will crumble under their weight.

      So the fight is much larger.

      cheers

      Like

  13. 29 yodha August 12, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    yeah i like that Rihanna song…

    it’s rainin…
    ooh baby its rainin
    come here to me
    come here to me

    ….
    under my umbrella .. ella ella eh eh eh

    Like

  14. 30 Guest August 12, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    I read all the comments here. I have a question for the Fountainhead. Sure, dowry taking is a crime, so is the dowry giving. So, are you suggesting Jaya to go to Jail along with her parents and husbands? She has already accepted this fact that her parents have given dowry.

    I think it would have been much better if her parents would have lodged a complain of extortion in the first instance it-self if the husband was asking for money after marriage. And it would have been much much better if she would not have married the person if he demanded the dowry before marriage. Why 498a is invoked when the relation turns sour.

    If giving and taking dowry are crimes then the case must be filed at the very moment when the dowry was being exchanged. As per as abettor of the crime is concerned the whole marriage party from both bride and groom sides should be booked immediately. Follow this and within a year dowry system will be abolished.

    The hard truth is that no one wants this dowry system to finish as this single word (use or misuse) has given livelihood to lakhs in different profession and huge international industry is running based on this.

    Now, do not say that I made you laugh. Before that research on Feminism movement in USA, UK, Australia, understand the working of UNIFEM, know the real Business Houses behind this and adverse effect on women it-self. After post IInd world war, women got Financial Freedom, after 1969, women got sexual freedom, now they have all kind of freedoms. Are they happy? They have bungalow, car and high profile jobs. Are they happy? After they return from job, they have only one companion, a cat or a dog. Are they happy. The mental illness is sky-rocketing. They have no one to share true emotions, of course there are thousands to share a glass of wine. Are they happy. The incidents of domestic violence (irrespective of whether men or women are victims) have increased many folds. Men suicide rates are 8 times compared to women. Teenage pregnancies and crimes are more prominent among the children brought up by single mothers. Are they happy?

    Lets talk about the true equality, understand the fact that men and women are complementary to each other not the competitors, celebrate our differences given by nature and enjoy the life. Where there is no compatibility,lets part peacefully. Police and Courts simply can not resolve the matrimonial issues. Every body is a loser in a matrimonial fight. No one wins. Even the women who gets hefty alimony and child custody. Please do a research on this. The Americans are now realizing the devastating effect of broken family systems and now started trying to build it up. Lets lear from their mistakes. Do not destroy the long lasting heritage. At least, no one in India would like to hear from a twelve year daughter – “Its my life, its my right (pseudo rights with no duties), Do not come between my boyfriend and me. Otherwise I will call 911”.

    The bottom line is:

    Victims should be helped and criminals should be punished irrespective of cast,creed, religion or Gender.

    To help you to do some research here is a link:

    http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=DD40D63DBCDFCA94&search_query=warren+farrell

    Like

  15. 31 The Fountainhead August 12, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    Dear Guest,

    I respect your opinion. But here is how it sounds:

    “If rape is a crime, then punish the rape victim also, after all if taking sex is a crime then giving sex also should be a crime.”

    Why I gave rape as an example? Here’s why…Because just like rape – dowry is taken FORCEFULLY. Here are a few examples of the threats used:

    1. Engagement will be broken ( = spoiling of reputation of girl)

    2. If dowry is not given, marriage will be postponed indefinitely.

    3. If dowry is not given, Green Card will be taken away

    4. If dowry is not given, then she will be BEATEN. (Most common of them all)

    5. If dowry is not given, then she will be sent back to India.

    6. If dowry is not given, then she will have to put up with mental torture off all in-laws combined.

    etc etc

    So, this is why dowry givers are not punishable. The most ancient meaning of dowry is “stridhan” which means that it is the property of the girl. (Its her share of her fathers property, since traditionally women would not get a portion of the land.)

    It is between the father and daughter. The gold, cash or whatever should be always in her custody and she should use it as she pleases. But when does that happen, you tell me? Somewhere in between in laws came in and started demanding ??????

    It is this greed that has led to deaths of many many women in our country. Thats why, the government has made some stringent laws. Because our country reveres women and we want to uphold this tradition. And we do not and will not tolerate physical and mental violence related to dowry.

    We strongly condemn it and always will. It is this same sentiment in all countries – be it USA, UK or wherever you go. Even Pakistan today passed a new law against Domestic Abuse. The whole world is going strongly in one and same direction – i.e, strictly condemn and abolish Violence against Women.

    You can demand a speedy trial, respect of your rights by police and a thorough investigation! Who said no? But the punishment to those found truly guilty should be very harsh. Unfortunately, most guys dont want to go on trial and offer huge money as settlement to girl’s family. Probably they dont want to go to trial because they know they wont win.

    Well, if the guys are so self-confident of their innocence, then why settle? Why pay ? Go to trail!!

    Dont confuse happiness with freedom. I have seen many grandmas confessing that they got beaten by drunk husbands. As a child, I saw women in my neighborhood get beaten. Every second or third woman in our past generation have been beaten by husband in their marital life.

    You call that happiness? When I asked these grandma’s would they have preffered to live alone if they could? They said yes. All of the women i spoke to. The sad part is they couldnt. Because society would shun them and they would have no source of income.

    Fortunately these two major factors have changed now. Women earn and society respects a woman who had the courage to leave her abusive husband. True freedom and the ability to breathe without fear is true happiness my friend. True happiness is living with self respect, not having to live like a slave – at someone’s mercy.

    Take it from someone who looked at terror in the eye. I know what living in terror is and I know how free and happy I am today.

    And here’s my final answer to “Are they happy? After they return from job, they have only one companion, a cat or a dog. Are they happy.”

    IT IS BETTER TO LIVE WITH A DOG THAN TO LIVE LIKE A DOG.

    Yes, they are happy.

    Like

    • 32 Raju January 29, 2013 at 7:29 am

      he he basically such women shouldnt marry … or better marry a dog :):) it can always be with you for all your nagging !! I think u are running a dog house 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • 33 amigaurab July 27, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      Dowry is bad? I dont think so. Its just a gift from the girls father to the boy in order to get rid of girls like you. Why girls like you? because you are such a girl who thinks your dad as a rapist and that you are the unwanted child produced as a byproduct of marital rape.

      Like

  16. 34 Jayalakshmi August 13, 2009 at 2:03 am

    @Holden:

    It is he who wanted to separate without giving any reason!
    So should he be allowed to go scot free? He is already looking for another wife!!!

    How fair is that? He asked for thousands of dollars and got them ,under the impression that he will better their lives with the money.

    But he broke every promise, every trust in the married life. He pretended illness and helped himself to all facilites, financial social and domestic.

    Still, people advise that he should be let off, and the girl should start all over. How fair is this.

    And when the laws are formed to help atleast in some cases, you all say” let the man go you start afresh”.

    If the girl has done similarly, would anyone advise “let go”?? Why this bias?

    The views expressed by people to “let go” are mostly from men!. This is the tradition of our country. Sweep under the carpet, let the girl suffer, let the men enjoy!

    Very sad indeed. No one is prepared to see that the girl is also a human being. If the guy wanted separation, he could have fairplayed it. Could have stated the reason, given her fair share of what she lost, .. but nothing. Simply disappear.. and you say ” let go”??????????

    Like

    • 35 Arjun January 28, 2013 at 9:52 am

      @jayalakshmi ,

      u are like my sister i can say but u know first of all family conflicts SHOULD NEVER be brought to police unless you are REALLY facing LIFE THREAT ….. just imagine how our grand mothers used to lead a happy married life .. family issues are bound to happen in any couple… but taking it to public domain and using law to TEACH a lesson is what hurts the EGO of a man.. and husband will inturn TEACH you a lesson because you used KNIFE (law) to hit him instead of using words or involving elders or a loving consoling .. lack of love is what leads to your fate

      Like

  17. 36 Jayalakshmi August 13, 2009 at 2:08 am

    @The fountainhead:

    I am encouraged by the views expressed by you . Hope more and more women will think like you and me, be strong and confident. Social changes are sweeping the country. Women are begining to look at life with positive outlook.

    Let us all fight for our place with dignity.

    Thanks a lot. God bless .

    Like

    • 37 surabhi December 8, 2011 at 12:11 pm

      I am a woman and I am strongly against how 498a is formulated. Yes, if you did give dowry, you and your husband both are culpable. It is an extortion only if the woman is uneducated- you are educated and have your husband dependent on you. Misuse of law will only come back to bite you.

      And what kind of an insane person are you to compare dowry to rape?? If you really want to then compare it to prostitution. Both the prostitute and the man are culpable in the crime.

      Like

      • 38 the fountainhead December 9, 2011 at 1:19 am

        No woman is WILLING and EXCITED about watching her old parents take loan, borrow money, and shave off all retirement money off to PLEASE her to-be in laws. She does that under extreme pressure and duress.

        Surabhi, just because you are a woman – your views about 498a doesn’t automatically get justified. You must have been targeted by your sister-in-law , that’s why you have a personal prejudice. Your views don’t count to me because you clearly have a personal vendetta.

        I stand by every word I said. Dowry demand is a shame on modern India. 498a is just the “consequence” of the heinous act. If there was no dowry in the first place, then we wouldn’t be having this discussion, and this forum wouldn’t exist. How about just dont commit this crime? How easy is that? Isnt it easier to be on the right side of law, than to rant after being charged with harsh terms?

        Every honorable family should save money, and live within their means. Parents of some “boy” is running out of funds at old age, have debts, and suddenly they realize a easy way of earning money – How??? By extorting a girls parents!!! Getting their son married is a win-win situation. Paisa bhi kamao – shaadi bhi karado. Shame on such parents. Shame , shame and shame. Zero sympathy for people like that.

        If your parents have done so, then you should be talking to them and making them realize their mistake, instead of complaining about the law. There are millions of families who dont take dowry, they respect every individual and consider a wife “laxmi”. How about learning a lesson from these families? Why don’t they fall in trouble just like you did? You know why? Because they stay in the right side of the law !!!!!

        And families which resort to such barbaric and ancient form of extortion, should be dealt with harshest terms. If harsh laws are not made, then this shameful practice will never get eradicated. Whats the use of complaining now, that you have already done the act?

        Best would be to learn a lesson, accept your fault and teach others that dowry is a bad thing. Actually now that I think of it – its all working. You come here and express how draconian this law is. People read and are very careful not to repeat the mistake you and your family did. This way dowry will eventually come to an end. Hopefully.

        So, rant on.

        Like

  18. 40 PKV August 13, 2009 at 5:32 am

    Dear fountain head

    It is clear from your opinons that you are really
    F O U N T A I N……. H E A D.

    PKV

    Liked by 1 person

  19. 41 holden August 13, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Fountainhead,

    I was not ‘advising’ Jaya but merely giving my opinion. If you browse my previous post, I have clearly mentioned being in favour of prosecution for dowry harassment. My point was that if a married woman is truly harassed to bring more money etc, as Jaya seems to have been, sure legally she can invoke 498A, but like you yourself have admitted that many cases are fabricated. You or I do now know the true facts in this case, hence yes an honest lawyer would advise her correctly. But, keeping all the bull aside, one could count the ‘honest’ of that kind on the fingers of a solitary human hand. What we are seeing time and again is that in a multitude of cases, marital discord is termed as cruelty and the whole extortion/arrest rigamorale starts on what would have been a quarrel between husband and wife. And in most of those cases, the wife would never have been asked for a penny before or after marriage, but yet there is nothing to stop the legal terrorism unleashed.

    Jaya,
    I apologize for seeming indifferent previously. Cruelty of all types is bad. If you have been harassed for dowry etc after marriage you are well within you rights (remember that 498A applies only to married women, so demands etc before marriage would fall under the ambit of the Dowry Prohibition Act). And the stridhan removal etc would be 406. That narrows the scope for 498A, but yet unfortunately, there is widespread misuse.
    My question, though to you is – hypothetically, if ‘he’ did not want to separate and all was hunky-dory, would you still do the 498A thingy on him? (Legally, it would apply if he has demanded dowry after marriage, but would you press charges?). Hence, my contention that once a marriage sours, this card is used, while theoretically your husband would still have committed a crime (according to Indian laws) even if all was well. I am not a lawyer, but with my layman mind, I would say if stuff was given to him by you and your parents willingly, this would be more a case of fraud than that of 498A (which is extreme cruelty).

    Anyway, peace be with all. Cruelty of all kinds is despicable, irrespective of which ever gender promulgates it. Just that the gender-biased laws are being used by some unscrupulous women which might well leave the truly victimised ones in a lurch in a few years.

    Like

  20. 42 holden August 13, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    And Fountainead,

    for your last couple of lines about ‘sincere women etc’, request you to practice what you preach and refrain from making personal comments if you are not aware of my ‘case’. I have been at the receiving end of the mis-use. let us leave it at that.

    Like

  21. 43 The Fountainhead August 13, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    Jaya,
    I completely understand your pain and believe you. If you were not in pain, you wouldnt be here looking for answers. “Letting go” will happen naturally with time when your inner self will be ready.

    Nobody can tell you when to let go. If you unable to forget and overcome, its natural. Its too much to expect someone to digest. This society can accept a callous men, but no matter what a woman has to act like Jesus.

    We dream of a beautiful wedding since we are kids, we dream of our happy little perfect family and kids. When someone comes and with complete disregard shatters all that, why should you be expected to hide in a room and cry? Why should you be handed some broken tools and told to “fix” whatever is left of your life?

    What is left? It takes years for wounds to heal.

    Like

  22. 44 The Fountainhead August 13, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    Holden,
    Im sorry if I made any personal comments. I didnt intend to. True, Im not aware of your case. If someone fabricated a story completely to trap you, then all I can say you will definitely win in the end and you name will be cleared. I believe in that.

    Peace.

    Like

  23. 45 NRI 498A FIGHTER August 13, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    @ fountainhead,

    Let me tell you a little story.

    There was once a girl (atleast that is what she said). Her name was, let us call her Miss “N”.

    Now Miss “N” promised to be human first before being a woman. Miss “N” made some allegations and claimed some stuff that was too hard to bieleve.

    And now it seems Miss “N” wants blogs moderated, 498a strengthend. Miss “N” said the law should be gender-neutral and misuers punished. Wierd irony huh?

    So Miss N aka…………listen, there can never be a true 498a case. I can prove it to you in one sec. As lons as you keep barking about harassment and harping about women’s rights without taking responsibility or voluntarily disclosing the shit you pulled…..no one is going to give a damn about 498a.

    peace out !!!

    NRI 498A Fighter

    Liked by 1 person

  24. 46 The fountainhead August 14, 2009 at 2:07 am

    NRI Fighter,

    I refuse to answer a person who uses swear words. If you cant be civil to visitors, then go ahead, preach to the converted. Good use of your time.

    – The Fountainhead

    Like

    • 47 Stop August 14, 2009 at 1:34 pm

      Fountainhead,
      I don’t see anything abusive in NRI Fighter’s comment. But you were abusive all along. Wasn’t it you who said something about women lighting a fire under men’s ***?
      The fate of 498A girls has been written:
      “The wrinkles have appeared, the boobs are sagging and where there was once my slender waist, I have a Chetak tire. My Pop is ready to pop and my mom is cranky. The siblings don’t care about me and in the heart of my hearts – I am missing my educated, civilized husband”
      Hope this doesn’t become yours..
      Peace !

      Liked by 1 person

  25. 48 The Fountainhead August 14, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    Dear Stop,

    Arnt you supposed to be in jail? Or maybe nowadays they have internet in prison…Oh God, where is technology taking us !!!

    Like

    • 49 Stop August 14, 2009 at 5:09 pm

      Is this the best you can do?

      Like

    • 50 Stop August 14, 2009 at 9:17 pm

      Fountainhead,
      Let’s assume that I am in jail, how does this help you in any way?
      Do you know how this whole jail and the threat of jail works?
      After waiting for 5 years to extract a settlement from me, my ex-wife, unable to bear the pangs of the celibacy imposed by me, got re-married.
      I’m free, and she goes on to live a 2nd hand life. Can you imagine what that means? Take a guess..
      Peace !
      PS:
      I was never arrested. Won’t ever be !

      Like

  26. 51 The Fountainhead August 15, 2009 at 12:38 am

    Good. Now even you should find a wife.

    THERAPY:

    Listen to this song by Brian Adams 2 times every night before going to sleep and I assure you she will never file a 498a on you.

    If you follow this song word to word, even the worst conniving, greedy, ruthless woman will turn into a very loving wife and will take good care of you. (Im serious, try it)

    Gentlemen, presenting to you Brian Adams:
    “Have you ever loved a woman”

    Like

    • 52 Stop August 15, 2009 at 1:57 am

      Thanks for the entertaining video, but I find your suggestion simplistic.
      Here is some real therapy to your gradual healing.

      Like

    • 53 498aNvrTkHerBk July 14, 2016 at 12:25 am

      Fountain head , fountain head – this is the biggest problem in today’s world – women like you take the movies, romantic songs seriously and start expecting that with real people ??? Are you kidding me ?? Believe me love is not what he is claiming in that video – the true love that stands for a lifetime – happens when both people accept the other person as they are and their inability to be perfect the way you want it to be .. the song is good to hear and you can dream such things but cannot wish it to come true .. it is just like a girl seeing a “foriegn song” and thinking life is going be like that in the US/UK after marriage .. basically assuming things without insight.. moreover what did you think men do? Getting trained year after year how to love a woman ? And if he had so many affairs would you love him? We take the prime responsibility of earning livelihood – that pressure starts of when we are pretty young – have to study well + get a good degree + get a good job + save money settle in life – so many years of hard work – and then our looks are not good enough after all this, let’s say the looks are good enough – then comes complaints like this “he should know me deeply, understand my feelings” …you girls have been dreaming of the perfect life partner, the perfect marriage, the perfect love, thanks to media … this is not enough, that is not enough, blah blah.. come to reality and set the right expectations, learn to adjust and compromise – if you treat him right, most men will treat you right ! follow the song word to word ? Are you crazy ?? Dont mean to be rude but you cannot even hire someone to do that for you !

      PS: Everyone here is a victim ! The non-victims never seek out help in forums. So pls learn to respect everyone and remember that they are coming off from their own issues. You case may fall under the 2% genuine cases. Rest 98% is false 498a – I’m sure all these men are victims (like me).

      Like

  27. 54 bhupesh August 20, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    who is this fountainhead. R u nuts. i m sure she is one fanatic person who has apoilt so many families. mam come to ur senses. 98% is not what we thought of & declared. its people like u who made it happen.

    Like

  28. 55 John August 16, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    These law makers have forgotten than bridegroom’s mother and sister are also woman. Where are their rights?

    Will the police also arrest a bride without any investigation if she misbehaves or gets physical with groom’s mother or sister?

    Why is nobody raising voices against this one-sided 498A? This should be banned.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. 57 SAVITHA August 19, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    sec.498 a most caases are false and bogus. The witnesses are the people
    either promted by defacto complainant of police themselves or the advocate under whose guidance the complaint is filed. Police make lot of mistakes and inconsistancies in the charge sheet . e complainant has given.Even the police write the name of accused 1 different from what is
    mentioned in FIR . the trial should not take so much time. For no fault
    of the accused and a false case registed the A1 HAS TO WAIT.

    Like

  30. 58 Aman Ojha December 12, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Accused are examined by magistrate u/s313 Cr.P.C. and after that examination accused has a right to give his evidence under sec. 315 Cr.P.C.

    Like

  31. 59 Unfortunate wife February 11, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I am a real dowry victim who has somehow survived and escaped a DOWRY DEATH, may be because God saved me for my mother and wants to punish my inlaws through me.

    I have read all comments and feel so sad that for their own selfishness or suffering, people are cursing the law which is to protect innocent girls from such devils in our society who are like stones and treat their wife and daughter-inlaw as a money bank, who they can even kill if she can’t bring enough money to satisfy her inlaws greed..
    I have suffered so much in my 8 months of marriage that I was on bed for 2 months after leaving their home, and recoving from the trauma and harassment that i went through at the hands of my inhumane, callous husband and in-laws.
    I tried searching internet for some help and just found forums like this cursing 498a law.
    Can anyone guide me to a single website which can help a really broken person like me, whose job is gone, life is ruined and health is in worse situation, and who has nightmares all the time. Does anyone of you have a heart to stop making so much noise to change the law and fight and be confident that you wont be punished if you are really truthful!! You dont have to write forums cursing the law or women as a whole, but you would be descent enough to fight and walk away free if you are really not guilty! BUT why are you ruining lives of women actuatlly suffering this menace and why you want some MEN to escape punishment who are such a stigma on society that they can even kill a girl who gave her evrything to serve him and his family! Just think for a while please.. i urge you all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 60 yodha February 12, 2012 at 4:46 am

      unfortunate wife ji,

      >>Can anyone guide me to a single website which can help a really broken person like me, whose job is gone, life is ruined and health is in worse situation, and who has nightmares all the time.

      NCW, vimochana, maajlis, sakshi, ….ad infinitum no of women orgs are there; did they turn you back that you landed here, a website dedicated to helping men fight false (almost all) cases?

      >>BUT why are you ruining lives of women actuatlly suffering this menace and why you want some MEN to escape punishment who are such a stigma on society that they can even kill a girl who gave her evrything to serve him and his family! Just think for a while please.. i urge you all.

      Who is a stigma remains to be seen – some WOMEN or some MEN!. conviction in 498a happens only along with conviction with 304B. If you are alive and healthy when you left husband’s house, then you need more than great luck trying to convict a man for cruelty under 498a. you need god’sintervention.

      Like

      • 61 ABC February 12, 2012 at 5:08 am

        This site is about ensuring that the accused are treated in accordance with the law.
        This site also tries to highlight the fact that 498A is abused to such an extent that real victims will never get justice. Also, click the link below to know what the courts are saying about 498A.
        https://ipc498a.wordpress.com/2007/10/18/what-the-courts-are-saying-about-498a-and-right-to-liberty/
        If you approach any of the orgs listed by Yodha for help, please ask them what they are doing to ensure that real victims, like yourself, get justice. While on the topic of seeking justice, can you elaborate on what you really want? In simpler terms, what would be your desired outcome after filing a 498A against allegedly cruel in-laws and hubby?

        Like

    • 62 The fountainhead February 12, 2012 at 5:42 am

      Dear Unfortunate wife,

      Don’t be disheartened. Not everyone is against 498a. I for one is a 100% supporter of this law.

      Use it, I say. Send those cruel in-laws and ex husband to jail. Let them get what they deserve and u dream of a beautiful future. Your whole life is ahead of you. You will get all the happiness of life. Just have patience. Evil people always get their punishment sooner or later.

      The reason internet is full of these website because these 498a criminals find nowhere else to vent their steam. They have been abusers for so long that they cant believe that their game is over. They are fuming like a disgruntled animal. lol.

      So, to give themselves a false sense of “purpose” in life they flock to these forums and get together, console each other and vent. lol.

      Dear sister, don’t worry….just laugh at these morons. They are in great misery, suffering the consequences of their actions. And they are not regretting their actions – because their evil mothers didn’t teach them how to be a good human being. These men comes from low class families, who are unhappy to have a girl child. They teach their sons that they are the superior gender. Result is, ….you can see.

      There are no pro- 498a websites because we don’t need one. We women who are true victims of dowry injustice have the supreme court and Indian constitution on our side. Why we need internet? The ultimate law is on the side of truth. There is nothing beyond the law. Let these idiots rant.

      You go enjoy dear. Don’t waste your time in these dirty places. These men sit idle at homes, because no woman wants to be with them, they are anti-social incompetent scums, who wont go out into the normal world to meet people. So they sit at home in their evenings, watch porn and their next stop is this website. Then they see pictures of girls in shaadi.com, send 4-5 invites and go to bed.

      These places are flocked by sociopaths with twisted logic. Normal people dont think like them. Dont worry. And dont forget to file the 498a and when u heal from ur wounds, find a good man.

      Cheers.

      Like

      • 63 ABC February 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm

        Fountainhead,
        the days of sending people to jail based on a 498A complaint as long gone. Haven’t you heard of the CrPC amendments?
        Obviously not.

        Like

      • 64 chiragtech18 June 24, 2016 at 10:55 am

        Fountain…

        I have read ur replies since 2009….
        Which means u r very regular to internet.

        Ur reply as-
        “You go enjoy dear. Don’t waste your time in these dirty places. These men sit idle at homes, because no woman wants to be with them, they are anti-social incompetent scums, who wont go out into the normal world to meet people. So they sit at home in their evenings, watch porn and their next stop is this website. Then they see pictures of girls in shaadi.com, send 4-5 invites and go to bed.

        These places are flocked by sociopaths with twisted logic. Normal people dont think like them. Dont worry. And dont forget to file the 498a and when u heal from ur wounds, find a good man.”

        Hope same goes with u….

        Like

      • 65 amigaurab July 27, 2016 at 5:53 pm

        Are you dreaming? Are you asking woman to file false cases so that people who work in woman organizations can generate statistics of he number of cases filed? You know what? the more the number of cases rise, the percent of aquittal increases. percentage wise there will be more and more false cases and one day this misuse of the law will be ended with a big bang as 498a is abolished. Your ****ing woman orgies will protest but there wont be any funding from UN as donations from abroad are now being regulated. I know that the UN is trying its best to make marriage a criminal offense to take their agenda forward to kill people they dont need

        Like

    • 66 The fountainhead February 12, 2012 at 6:12 am

      Read fountainhead’s reply below.

      Ignore the other’s comments. They have a mental problem and need treatment. They themselves don’t know what they are saying. Its something like a sociopath.

      They have nothing useful to say. They keep babbling incoherent stuff like a beggar in Indian railway stations..

      Really a bad case of “sadma” caused by 498a – the best thing that happened for Indian women after abolish-ment of Sati.

      Oh prolly they never heard of SATI and DOWRY-DEATH because they were not paying attention in school social studies lessons (Or maybe their parents told them that SATI and DOWRY DEATH was a hoax and never really happened)

      As i told u, these men were poor performers in school, had low iq, and watched their drunk fathers come home to beat their moms.

      As a result of their disturbed childhood, incompetency, they grew up to be wife beaters themselves and are now 498a wanted list. And their moms were so badly beaten by their fathers, that all she waited for was a “bahu” to come, on whom she can finally show her frustration. And the fathers squandered all money in alcohol and women, now wants to extort money from daughter in law’s parents in the name of dowry, to pay off debts. But which girl’s family will pay dowry for their dumb, failure sons, with no real job?

      Well, at least the beggars are good human beings.

      Good for you that u got away from mad cow family. File the 498a. Lets clean up our precious Indian society from dirts like Yodha’s and ABC’s (two unsucessful, loser, 498a fugitives – who no one cares about)..lol.

      Cheers to Justice. Cheers to 498a.

      Like

    • 67 Ashwini January 26, 2016 at 5:55 am

      Dear even i m suffering from harassment of husband that too worst extent n want to seek help n guidelines how to proceed my case n thr no women forum where we can get true guideline every where it’s about men right missuse.

      Like

      • 68 498aNvrTkHrBk July 13, 2016 at 11:50 pm

        There maybe no forum to help you, but the law has made every provision that can be used in the right way to your benefit. There are many women organizations – seek them out. There are many dedicated people. If you are a victim then you will get justice ; just that our system is slow that’s all. I am a victim (male – false dowry case as I did not take single rupee and spent 30 lakhs so far within 3 months of marriage). There are so many forums for men because the law is against us and supports our wives who mis-use the law. I hope to get justice too.

        Like

  32. 69 Arun February 12, 2012 at 7:05 am

    This forum or people in this forum are absolutely not against WOMEN in any way and not against to wives nor against daughter-in-laws.
    Victim is victim weather it is wife or husband there should not be any partiality between wives and husbands or women and men. Indian constitution clearly says women and men are equal we need to honor this constitution right.

    It is clear that 98% of the 498A cases are false and filed by greedy/adulteries women.

    Any LAW should provide justice to the victim but not become a easy tool to take revenge. Especially LAW should be made in such a way to save falling family relationship but does not become one sided extortion tool or revenge taking tool.

    498A purpose is 100% wrong and clearly it is not mend to restore family. In my opinion because 498A 80% of the Restorable families are unknowingly departing with vengeance. If this trend continues like this for long time India will have millions of fatherless spoiled brats.

    This forum is for the husbands who did not make any crime but married to a foolish women. Not all women are good some women are bad too.

    Indian Law 498A/DVC itself is one sided and completely leaning towards women , and there is no harm if few victim husbands exchange their views in this forum and help each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. 71 Unfortunate wife February 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Dear Arun,
    “498A purpose is 100% wrong and clearly it is not mend to restore family” :
    Let me give some recent amendments already been made to 498a which gives enough chance to restore families:

    1. There is no immediate FIR or arrest applicable in the law now, and the case is sent first to Women Cell where both husband and wife are called for counselling.
    2. It is mandatory for both parties to meet at least once, where it is decided whether there is any chance of reconciliation or whether a girl agrees to the compensation proposed by her husband and in-laws.
    3. Only if both the above options fail, and the police is convinced of the real cruelity imposed upon a women by her inlaws – they agree to lodge an FIR.

    So I believe many of you who think they can be arrested even if they are not at fault(which you all point as the misuse of 498a) would be ready to accept that the procedure is in Men’s favour, as a woman is unsafe till the time all these proceedings go on.
    Still there is no hope of what will happen if the man has contacts or money to walk away free even after torturing his wife inhumanely to all extents!

    So to my belief, the law is not any stern, neither the accused is punished till this time, and rightly said by the Fountainhead, they continue enjoying their lives after they have thrown out their loving wife without any fault of her, just for their greed, and continue their search for a new wealthy girl.

    i AGREE that there can be some women misusing the law for money, but the majority are a real victim.
    Now to brief everyone why women need to be protected :

    1. Women can never in any way be equivalent to a man physically.
    2. A woman is alone in her matrimonial home where there may be 5-6 people in a man’s family, all after her life for their greed for more money. She can in no way fight with all of them if they attack her together- which is the truth behind most dowry deaths happening so frequently these days.
    3. A woman in no way want to make her and her parents life hell as she is the major sufferer when she has to go stay at her parents home, visit courts, lawyers and police – things she never even dreamt of!
    4. There can be only 1 evidence of this crime- and that would be her dead body if she is killed mercilessly or driven to suicide by her callous husband and inlaws.

    Therefore we all have to accept the fact that no girl would like to break her marriage and waste her life fighting a case if she has not really suffered so much! And the women who are exceptions, would settle the case in women cell itself if all they want is money!

    Thanks for clarifying that you all are not against Women and for giving me reference of some women ngos but these ngos really dont have much authority to punish the accused. SO all I am left with is LAW and ORDER to get justice.

    I respect everyone’s views but dont agree that the law is in any way one-sided as per best of my knowledge. In fact I believe there should be some better laws to support victim women who are left with broken lives and were treated each day they spent in married home as if they are animals or slaves and it was my mistake to keep bearing all the torture and keep making efforts to save my marriage praying day and night, thinking better sense might prevail upon my inlaws and husband one day!

    But once stones, always a stone.

    Anyways, thanks so much Fountainhead – I will try to recollect my life and move on – but will heave a sigh of relief only after punishing my husband and inlaws.
    All the best to you too!

    Like

    • 72 ABC February 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm

      Unfortunate Wifey,
      can you answer my questions.
      What does justice mean to you?
      What do think you’ll get by filing a 498A against your allegedly cruel in-laws?

      Like

  34. 73 498a victim February 12, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    >>>> i AGREE that there can be some women misusing the law for money, but the majority are a real victim
    Reply: What statistics/research you did to arrive at this conclusion? 98% of accused come out free of this mess by courts, clearly proving that majority cases are false.
    >>>> 1. Women can never in any way be equivalent to a man physically
    Reply: You are insulting women as a whole. There are women who are stronger than many men, there are men who are weaker than many women. The law has to be gender nuetral and protect everyone. Even if I am stronger than my wife, what am I supposed to do when she slaps me? Slap back because I am stronger? No, police and State has a duty to protect me from my wife even if I were stronger(which is not always the case, I may be handicapped also).

    >>>> 3. Only if both the above options fail, and the police is convinced of the real cruelity imposed upon a women by her inlaws – they agree to lodge an FIR.
    Reply: Again the fact that 98% are proven false in court, means police does not investigate or needs to be convinced of any “reality” before lodging FIR. In my own case, police said that they can see clearly that girl is lying, infact she had been changing statements everytime, but they were by law bound to register FIR.

    Like

  35. 74 Arun February 13, 2012 at 2:46 am

    Dear Unfortunate wife,

    Please read my comments.

    “498A purpose is 100% wrong and clearly it is not mend to restore family” :
    Let me give some recent amendments already been made to 498a which gives enough chance to restore families:

    1. There is no immediate FIR or arrest applicable in the law now, and the case is sent first to Women Cell where both husband and wife are called for counselling.
    Ans: I am not well acquainted with new amendments, but let me give tell you this POLICE need money and LAWYERS need money thye twist the case for the benifit of their personal gain. Grieved person will be in

    confused state and police/lawyer take advantage of it and make money.

    AP police should not arrest Husband without DCP permission there is a circular for this, so police and lawer has alternate way to arrest husband through sec 156(3) private complaint in court and get arrest

    warrent. so, my point is every LAW has loop holes and people make use of them to acheve their goal.

    POLICE are not working according to rules If they follow rules they don’t get money, they know how to skip rules.

    2. It is mandatory for both parties to meet at least once, where it is decided whether there is any chance of reconciliation or whether a girl agrees to the compensation proposed by her husband and in-laws.
    ANS: this is 100% faslse I am living example and there are thousands of people in the forum like me. Today my wife files FIR through sec 156(3) and tomorrow I was arrested, I have not seen my wife from the day

    of my arrest. We were happy couple (thats what I am thinking) but I never sensed that my wife a unhappy person throught my married life. I never had no opportunity to talk to my wife or any person from their

    family from the day of my arrest till today.

    3. Only if both the above options fail, and the police is convinced of the real cruelity imposed upon a women by her inlaws – they agree to lodge an FIR.
    ANS: as I said above before a process is started it is failed. 99% of the cases are being distroyed because of the same reason.

    conclusion: Since counselling is not happenning but arrests are taken place we are failed to meet the first mandatory requirement. DO you know who does the counselling in the police station? Let me tell you

    this a POORLY educated person who 90% of their time deals with real criminals/anti social eliments and their knowledg is not matured to counsel a educated couple.

    -So I believe many of you who think they can be arrested even if they are not at fault(which you all point as the misuse of 498a) would be ready to accept that the procedure is in Men’s favour, as a woman is

    unsafe till the time all these proceedings go on.
    Ans : I am sure you could have suffered and undergone agony but remember one thing as you said above “I believe many of you who think they can be arrested even if they are not at fault” ‘believe’ and

    ‘experience’ these two words has lot of difference. The people who experience pain are uproar against this law 498A because their wives misused to extort money and take revange by filing these false cases.
    remember this “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” and also think about your own family mother and father sisters and brothers , were you not happy until you got married think

    how your mother managed your family ? was she not alone when she walked into your father’s family.

    Still there is no hope of what will happen if the man has contacts or money to walk away free even after torturing his wife inhumanely to all extents!
    ANS: now a days women are equally earning like men so both have money and both feed police and lawyers and ruin their own lives both are same. Humble yourself and accept your mistakes and have a kind heart to

    forgive spouse mistakes, do not ever give BACK ANSWERS this is a happy married life formula.

    So to my belief, the law is not any stern, neither the accused is punished till this time, and rightly said by the Fountainhead, they continue enjoying their lives after they have thrown out their loving wife

    without any fault of her, just for their greed, and continue their search for a new wealthy girl.

    i AGREE that there can be some women misusing the law for money, but the majority are a real victim.
    Now to brief everyone why women need to be protected :
    ANS: You als need to agree that there are 98% women are misusing LAW to extort money and take revange against husbands and minority are real victims. This is the reason why we are protesting and asking for

    amendments.

    1. Women can never in any way be equivalent to a man physically.
    Yes, most of the times men are stronger than women but we are not dealing with wrestling competition. so this situation does not influence relationship, understand one thing a good relationship does not need physical strength but LOVE and harmony. With LOVE everything possible. seek LOVE first then see what happens.

    2. A woman is alone in her matrimonial home where there may be 5-6 people in a man’s family, all after her life for their greed for more money. She can in no way fight with all of them if they attack her

    together- which is the truth behind most dowry deaths happening so frequently these days.
    ANS: all mothers were alone in their matrimonal homes yet they succeeded in their lives, why not you? remember again With LOVE everything possible.

    3. A woman in no way want to make her and her parents life hell as she is the major sufferer when she has to go stay at her parents home, visit courts, lawyers and police – things she never even dreamt of!
    ANS : no respectable family wants to make their home hell irrespective of husband or wife. women need to understand one thing Men are not sensitive at heart but women are,so listen to this there is why to take away a stony heart of men and replace with flesh heart, seek for the way who/how can that be done.

    4. There can be only 1 evidence of this crime- and that would be her dead body if she is killed mercilessly or driven to suicide by her callous husband and inlaws.

    Therefore we all have to accept the fact that no girl would like to break her marriage and waste her life fighting a case if she has not really suffered so much! And the women who are exceptions, would settle

    the case in women cell itself if all they want is money!

    ANS : Death is not answer, ther are equally number of men who are committing suicide because of wives. so this is not the solution for the problem.

    Thanks for clarifying that you all are not against Women and for giving me reference of some women ngos but these ngos really dont have much authority to punish the accused. SO all I am left with is LAW and

    ORDER to get justice.
    ANS: Again don’t be angry and come to a point to make a way to punish men, I can understand this very anger could have reined your life. let re iterate this “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” anger and revange is not solution for problems , if this is answer humanbeing will never lieve.

    I respect everyone’s views but dont agree that the law is in any way one-sided as per best of my knowledge. In fact I believe there should be some better laws to support victim women who are left with broken

    lives and were treated each day they spent in married home as if they are animals or slaves and it was my mistake to keep bearing all the torture and keep making efforts to save my marriage praying day and

    night, thinking better sense might prevail upon my inlaws and husband one day!

    ANS : I see one good point from your writing that you have been praying day and night. If my guess is not write you have been praying to God to punish your in-laws and Husband. These are ill prayers stop doing them and start praying asking God to give your opponents Flesh heart.

    But once stones, always a stone.
    ANS: I dis agree with this for sure, there is a way to make stones to flesh, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” all you need is kind heart not anger.

    Anyways, thanks so much Fountainhead – I will try to recollect my life and move on – but will heave a sigh of relief only after punishing my husband and inlaws.
    ANS : this is the wrong path ou have choosen….all the best.

    SUGGESTION : If you can please do this ,
    1) Write down on a white papers all the good things you did to your Husband (forget abt in-lawsand and not the house hold chores though).
    2) Did you or do you love or admire someone other than your husband? If yes write down if your husband could have been give more LOVE than he was given in all these days?
    3) Writ down as many times as you can and then read the same for not less than 20 times.
    4) Judge yourself.
    5) Then Pray and decide what you have done is correct.

    All the best to you too!
    Ans : May God Bless You

    Like

  36. 75 unfortunate wife February 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    I have realised that this forum is not for me.. and people who have done wrong are difficult to punish… how to forget – it had taken 11 yrs for Jessica Lal case to get justice in our system!
    So this is the answer to your comment that 98% cases are dissolved before any justice is granted – the sole reason being a girl’s family get tired fighting for their justice and corrupt people like monster husbands and inlaws are at an advantage and think they are guilt-free! Only 2% have the courage to fight till the end.. who are ready to sacrifice their lives fighting for justice for years in courts!

    Anyways, i landed here in a wrong place.. whr people think i used to pray with wrong intentions.. while i mentioned that i used to pray that my husband and inlaws should stop torturing me for money and accept my love and care..and not destroy a sacred bond of marriage which was just a business plan for them!

    Anyways, goodbye and i am sure God will give such a punishment of all their bad karmas to those who do wrong that they will realise one day of God’s power.
    And i dont think i need to answer Mr ABC.. u need to go read abc of why at all a LAW is made – it is to give justice to sufferers! otherwise, anyone would do anything wrong and go free.. may be people like u shud have a sister!
    people can continue enjoying ridiculing laws here and face the consequences at God’s hands – Justice has to be granted in some form for sure.

    Like

    • 76 Abc February 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm

      Unfortunate Wifey,
      I hope you have a brother and get to see the inside of a prison when your sister-in-law files a 498A against you and your family.
      That ‘s when you’ll truly understand the value of this site and what all of us are fighting for.
      -ABC

      Like

      • 77 the fountainhead February 13, 2012 at 6:05 pm

        ABC,

        Looks like your brain is stuck in kindergarten. Of course you will think you have done nothing wrong. That’s is exactly how schizophrenic people think.

        They think they are perfect and everyone is out to get them.

        But ABC, whole of India (other than psycho’s who built this forum), and the constitution thinks that bride abuse is strictly punishable under law.

        For perverts who abuse brides – No mercy. End of story.

        Like

      • 78 the fountainhead February 13, 2012 at 8:15 pm

        Abc,

        Her brother and family will never see the insides of a prison – because she comes from a decent family.

        Her sister-in-law is very happy in her new home. She is being treated like a princess by her wonderful brother.

        Like

    • 79 Arun February 13, 2012 at 6:51 pm

      Dear “56 the fountainhead”,

      If you can not help others please keep quite, do not instigate and give wrong directions to victims.

      This is not kids play it is about someone’s life and it is precious, so please honor others opinions. Mud slinging reveals foolishness.

      Like

      • 80 the fountainhead February 13, 2012 at 8:11 pm

        Arun,

        So typical. Why car thieves are punished? Why tax evaders go to jail? Why murderers are hanged? Is that tit for tat? If that’s your logic, then there should be no punishment at all in the constitution. Then everything is “vengeance”. If someone raped your sister or mother – won’t you want to see the rapist punished? Its called law enforcement – not vengeance. Vengeance is when citizens take law in their own hands.

        Asking court of law to take over, is not vengeance.

        Is it not Arun? You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? haha….Denial will get you nowhere.

        You should have thought about consequences, when you were ill treating your wife. Why are you asking for mercy now? Why are you begging her to have a “cool head” now? Where was your cool head when you were torturing your wife. Its too late now.

        Not everyone, thinks in terms of “goal” and “desired result”. This is how you think.

        Karma is doing the right thing – without expecting result. As women victims, its our karma to report it to police…Rest law enforcement will take care of. That not us to decide what punishment will be meted out. The cops and judges will decide the appropriate. Our duty is to “report”. Therein the responsibility ends.

        As a part of the community we live in – its our responsibility to report, so that it will benefit society by lessening of crime. And so that the next man will think 100 times before abusing wife.

        498a is the only way to ensure that in the future men don’t do whatever they want to the brides. Just because she has nowhere to go, no job, and is totally at his and his parents’ mercy, doesn’t mean men can beat her.

        Due to the existence of 498a, many men and in-laws are now in control – who would have otherwise tortured their wives.

        Like

      • 81 498a victim February 13, 2012 at 8:20 pm

        Dear Fountainhead,
        >>>> “Her brother and family will never see the insides of a prison – because she comes from a decent family.
        Her sister-in-law is very happy in her new home. She is being treated like a princess by her wonderful brother.”

        The forum is precisely to help her wonderful brother who despite keeping his wife like a princess is liable to visit jail on mere accusation of his wife simply because she belongs to a different gender than him.

        Like

      • 82 498a victim February 13, 2012 at 8:34 pm

        Dear Fountainhead

        >>>>” If that’s your logic, then there should be no punishment at all in the constitution. Then everything is “vengeance”. ”

        Please read the Supreme Court judgement where it clearly says that 498a is being filed with motives of vengeance. Asking court to take over is not vengeance if it is done with honest claims. But 498a is used as a tool of vengeance, as any marital dispute, which has no criminal basis, is turned into a dowry harrasment complaint to revenge or gain upper hand in dispute.
        In this comment chain itself “Unfortunate Wife” claims she just escaped Dowry Death. My interpretation of this sentence is her in-laws tried to murder her. Why is she researching 498a then, she should file a case in attempt to murder (IPC 307). I totally support IPC 307 as it is gender nuetral, and husband or wife whoever tries to kill spouse gets punishment irrespective of gender. But 498a has become catch-all of marital disputes.

        >>>>”Looks like your brain is stuck in kindergarten. Of course you will think you have done nothing wrong. That’s is exactly how schizophrenic people think. ….But ABC, whole of India (other than psycho’s who built this forum), ”

        You do not seem to be in mood of any meaningful discussion, your choice of words reflect your standards. Women organisations will be a better forum for you, you can continue your frustated male bashing unabated there. Had you chosen better words, I would have replied to this argument as well, but replying in this language downgrades me and my gender.

        Like

      • 83 Arun February 13, 2012 at 8:52 pm

        Dear The fountainhead,

        I can understand that you are well educated but that does not make you qualify morally.

        Please cool down and understand difference between thief and his act of theft and spouse/family and act of LOVE

        Thieves use their brains not heart if they use their heart they are not thieves they need money does not care consequences.

        Family is built on LOVE and Harmony between spouses. if they have any differences they have very good chance to communicate and resolve the issue. thieves don’t do this.

        Though you are well educated and have faith in God because of your angry you are not able to differentiate thieves and spouses.

        Just because of our ego we can not depart from our spouses. You mentioned about beating huh this is far away. I am sure you could have argued/pestered your husband with the same high pitch tone. let me tell you one secret if wife loves husband even if he makes mistakes ….it is just a matter of time husband to realize that his wife love. If husband realizes this then he will surly give wife his life let me re state this again he will give you his LIFE.

        try helping other if they are in need but do not talk like quarrelsome women, I know you have soft nature inside you but it is a matter of taking it out for your husband.

        Breaking relationship is easy and building relationship is very hard, please don’t choose easy way.

        regards

        Like

  37. 84 Arun February 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    Tit for Tat and cursing and vengeance is not the solutions for the problem but they lead to more destruction of both families.

    Before we take any action we need to question our self
    1) what is my ultimate goal.
    2) The path we choose will achieve desired result?

    Punishing spouse may not be ultimate goal as this is intermediate re-leaf because if husband go to Jail, what will wife get? may be her burning fire may subside but what is after that? can she regain her parents respect in the society will she have good husband in future( unless if wife already has a boy friend in the office)….

    Decisions taken under pressure,hurry, pain will never be correct…a cool mind makes perfect decision.

    as long as spouses pure in their heart they don’t go in tit for tat path.

    Like

    • 85 the fountainhead February 13, 2012 at 8:44 pm

      Dear 498a victim. If you treated your wife like a PRINCESS, then can you tell WHY she left you?

      Why she prefers running around courthouse for year after year, called a “divorcee”, trouble her parents,…than to spend time with you?

      Like

      • 86 ABC February 14, 2012 at 6:12 am

        Fountainhead,
        The “pervert” who built this site from scratch, changed the debate on 498A in the india. His lwork’s helped a lot of people fight their cases and WIN !!
        What did he do that you find so offensive.? All he talks about is the right to due process that is guaranteed in the constitution of India. He elaborates on the rights and laws that enforce individual freedom, and the right to due process.
        Besides, why do you troll around here?
        Wait a minute !
        Did the contents of this site lead to your losing your case and dash your dreams of making a fast buck by using 498A?
        That’s it, isn’t it?
        No wonder you are pissed.
        Take a chill pill, better yet, get laid and move on with your miserable life.

        Like

      • 87 case delhi July 4, 2014 at 5:37 pm

        women dont have to run to courts.
        they file a transfer petition and guy has to run to their city.
        first get your facts right.
        this is not an essay forum but fact based forum.

        Like

      • 88 498aNvrTkHerBk July 14, 2016 at 11:43 am

        Cos she is crazy just like my wife.. I spent 30 lakhs for her in 3 months and did not get a single rupee dowry and my wife went to the locker and took out all her jewels as well as mine . And then filed false 498a and maintenance case asking for lot of money every month.

        There are false 498a cases that we are discussing here. This is forum for those people started by those people who were victims in such cases.

        Fountainhead – this is not the forum or place for you! I am 100% victim as you are .. I can ask you the same question : ” if you treat you husband with love and care as you claim why is he being cruel to you?? ” But I don’t want to ! Cos I don’t want to hurt a victims feelings (more than he/she is already hurt in life).

        I understand that you are a victim. Why can’t you understand that people here are victims ?? Non-victims victims use money, power and influence and don’t seek help in forums for free! Can you imagine anyone helping another person how to torture someone? No one who wants to torture asks for help! They just torture (because they are evil like your husband and my wife – she has political influence ).

        I agree she is from a decent family. So am I. Arent you from a decent family? Still we both are victims right ? So why can you not agree that these guys here are victims ? Did you even read any of their life statements? If they are lying and actually the person who the tortured their spouse – we can’t detect that – can we ? How can I accept that you are the victim ? Did i see any proof that proves you are a victim ? No. But I do because i trust your statement. This is called taking “face-value” — and since we are in a public forum , where people are free to express and ask for help – YOU HAVE TO TAKE FACE VALUE AND BELEIVE WHAT THEY SAY!! IF YOU DONT BELEIVE – WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME ARGUING TO PEOPLE WHOM YOU DONT BELEIVE??

        Please leave this place ! You are not welcome here (even though you are a decent person and a victim) !! Go ahead and start a forum for women like you and disucss your issues there. Men won’t come there and trouble you !! If they do. You can ask them to leave!

        Help other victims if possible ! If not just get whatever help you need and just leave this place!

        Like

  38. 89 498a victim February 13, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    >>>> Why she prefers running around courthouse for year after year, called a “divorcee”, trouble her parents,…than to spend time with you?

    Because we have disagreements over certain issues. See, this is the presumption we are fighting – if somebody’s wife prefers to run to court, than he is neccesarily a criminal. No dear, couples have disagreements which are purely civil in nature, 498a is used as a fast-track tool to resolve those disagreements in favor of girl.
    I have seen cases that girls have boyfreinds and are coerced into arrange marriage. After marriage, they do not want to stay with husband, husband files for divorce. Now, this is purely a civil dispute, but what wife will do is file back a 498a so that alimony can be settled on her terms.
    Whatever a girl says need not be truth, whatever a guy says need not be truth either. Justice system needs to give equal chance and credibility to both.

    Like

  39. 91 nick February 14, 2012 at 11:12 am

    @ All 498A / DV / DPA Perpetrators & Abettors,

    Ur arguments / accusations / advice, are based on these assumptions :-
    @ Dowry is always demanded / taken
    @ All husbands & In-Laws are greedy & cruel ( => wives’ brothers, too ),
    @ Husbands beat wives
    @ Husbands have bad character / are having affairs,
    @ All wives are innocent / non-greedy / with spotless character / good natured / weak / helpless / non-provocative / not mislead by her parents etc. @ etc,….,

    Obviously these assumptions are misplaced & wrong. But, it doesn’t mean that, these are always false.

    If dowry has, really been demanded, action needs to be taken against the husband & wife’s family, both. ( Pl. refuse to that Rishta / mrg. & u should have taken the tough ‘Law-enforcement’ ‘Righteous’ stances shown by u, in above arguments, at / before marriage ) / taken ( Why give it ?? U cud have become the heroine of the society, one cud look up to, for bravery, yrs back, minus harassments suffered all these yrs. Nobody can take dowry, if u / ur parents simply refuse to give it )

    Why do small gifts, suddenly become dowry, after yrs of remaining as customary gifts ?

    Why relatives are brought in 498A litigation, just to add 100 lies to 1 lie ?

    Why are whole families / parents / SIL brought into the case ?
    If u have a problem with ur husband, file case against him, only. ( if u think that it will help u solve ur problems )..

    Why do all failed marriages, suddenly, become dowry-related / harassments / tortures / etc. ?

    Why are Wife’s rights, justified ‘Rights’ & not Husband’s / Mens’ ??

    Why are husbands’ mothers & sisters, not ‘greedy’, ‘weak’, ‘abla’, ‘needy’, ‘truthful’, or even ‘women’ ?

    Why not cut ur losses & accept broken relationships / marriages ( after having tried all afforts to salvage it, honestly & ethically ) with maturity, rather than adding to ‘Dowry’ stastistics, Criminal Law misuse & pockets of Lawyers, Police & Ors.

    Why use cases if u r mature enough to talk it over with ur parents / husband / in-laws in attempts to solve it ( Not extortion ).

    If u r convinced that ur assumptions are true / justified, then I have nothing more to say / argue.
    If not, pl. leave ur bias & accept the misuse / faults of this law, society, parents, Police, Judges & system AND
    Pl. accept that whenever Police / Courts / greed come into a marriage, a marriage ends….., damaging both parties.

    No one wins in a marital / 498A / Dowry case, Inevitably, both lose. Only so-called ‘Law-Enforcers’, go laughing all the way to their Banks.
    &
    Pl. pray fervently, that none of ur brothers & parents / male-cousins / future son-in-laws have the same fate / law ‘enforced’ upon them, as u r trying to enforce on others’ husbands.
    GOD save us all,

    Like

    • 92 the fountainhead February 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

      Majority of the cases are true 498a case. One or two may be completely baseless….but that the cost we have to bear as society.

      498a cannot be removed. Its doing more good (to innocent helpless wives) than its doing bad (to innocent husbands). Fact.

      Reason: Majority of Indian wives are good wives. Majority of Indian households abuse new bride. Fact.

      Majority of Indian marriages involve dowry (in cash or furniture, car, flat, tv etc). Fact.

      Like

      • 93 ABC February 15, 2012 at 5:19 am

        Please show me the stats …

        Like

      • 94 498aNvrTkHerBk July 14, 2016 at 12:14 pm

        Fountainhead –

        How different are you from girls in other countries in the world ? Are they all stupid governments?? Why is this kind of law (498a) which only favors women not present in any other country ? Oh the girls in rest of the world do not have chastity or honor ? Only the Indian women have it ?

        Every country has domestic violence laws and in all countries the person who domestic violence is charged. Only in India, if a girl threatens to commit suicide and becomes violent – if husband tries to notify authorities – they blame him rather than taking action. If the same thing happens vice versa and husband does violence – he is dead neat! Why is that inequality present in India ?? But not in other countries?? Because this is a shit law .

        Even then no one is asking to remove the law. We agree this law is needed to prevent dowry deaths and really needed to protect them. But must be enhanced so that false complaints are identified and punished !

        Please improve your kniwledge. The concept of dowry and the word is not limited to India. European countries and African countries have the same culture to – they give dowry when they marry of their daughter. I’m not talking about 500 years ago.. I’m talking about present. While it may not be as prevalent and as direct as in India, it is the same everywhere!! Women marry financially stable guys and they want better life! So do the husband’s they want better prospects – someone who is working someone who is independent ! Everyone is greedy in this world.

        You know what women are on par with men almost everywhere. There are women CEOs politicians businesswomen actresses scientists and they worked through out their life.
        And this is true in all countries. women are really free today. emancipation has been achieved. Not be a “princess” and all they do is only “expect” this that.

        Those women achieved cos they wanted to achieve. Many Indian women cannot even achieve being a simple house wife and rather torture husband with false 498a!!

        Also why is there no indian law so husband can file a similar criminal case on wife ? Man is not entitled to feelings and hurt ?? He is a stone or rock ? You call this equality or biased ??? Where did human rights go????

        This is what happens today in India – even after husband proves his innocence – the court does not tell “this is a false case and mis-use of 498a law” because benefit of doubt is always given to women in India (and only in India).

        Indian women havr taken it as a legal constitution given right for them to threaten husband by filing false 498a . If you don’t do as I say I will file a case?

        Like I already said this is not the place for you fountainhead ! Just don’t reply (I think you already got this as I don’t see any reply from you in 2016).

        Like

  40. 95 nick February 14, 2012 at 11:18 am

    To add, some of Society’s assumptions :-

    Every failed marriage is treated as crime under dowry harassment / 498A.
    Every suicide or accident of Bride after marriage is treated as Dowry Death.
    Every argument between husband & wife treated as domestic violence.
    Every husband not listening to wife is treated as aggressor.
    Every mother-in-law is treated as vamp.
    Every sister-in-law is treated as instigator of dowry demand.
    Every Father-in-law is treated as badmaash.
    Every husband’s family is treated as criminals.
    Every husband’s brother is treated as bloody scoundrel.
    Every husband’s relative is treated as perpetrator of crime.
    Every false 498A girl is treated as destitute women.
    Every false 498A girl’s mother is treated as aggrieved women.
    Every false 498A girl’s father is treated as loser, caused by a husband.
    Every false 498A girl’s brother is treated as son of satyawadi Harish chandra.
    Every false 498A girl’s lawyer is treated as hero.
    Every false 498A victim’s lawyer is treated as zero.
    Every wife committed adultery is treated as innocent.
    Every adultery committed by husband is treated as crime.
    Every salary demand made by 498A wife is treated as requirement.
    Every refusal of anything to wife is treated as cruelty.
    Every threat given by wife is treated as grave provocation.
    Every statement issued by wife is treated as gospel of truth.
    Every abusive word spoken by girl’s family is treated as sweet.
    Every false allegation levied by them is treated as genuine.
    Every mediator in false 498A is treated as God.

    INDIA IS GREAT

    Like

  41. 98 VictimOfInHumanWife February 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Dear fountainhead,

    There is Difference Between Wife & Princess, If you wanted to be a princess, why did you marry at first Place?

    Princess is the One who is Unmarried living in the Home of her Father, Where Queen is the One who Lives with her King. Isn’t it ? a Men look for a Responsible women and Not complaint Box or Farmaish “who always comeup with new Weird Idea Day after Day..”

    Looks like a you are loosing your battle, and vomiting your frustration here on this forum.

    If girl can’t balance between Husband and Maternal Family of her’s, these things are bound to happen, later to give the law to speak, Dominate. Later what happens??

    They fill up an Pre-Designed Application form with Ready made allegations, they fill their names, address and name of the accuse. which they submit as FIR.

    This is the story of All 498a Type Wives. Now my wife is already started getting Tags of “Luteri Dulhan”. Now Every Moves are unfolding before society about my Wife & her Family.

    Like

  42. 100 Arun February 14, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    the fountainhead,

    Do not go by assumption “Majority of the cases are true 498a case” if majority are true then 98% of the husbands should go to Jail.

    Hypothetically saying if men fight with government and get a similar section lets say 498MEN against women what would you do ?

    just don’t argue for the sake of argument, I am sure if you can control your emotions you could have saved your married life. Your anger and angry emotions were more important to you tan your marriage.

    Like

    • 101 the fountainhead February 14, 2012 at 8:45 pm

      98% husbands don’t go to jail because they pay off the police and cases are so slow in India.

      Saved my married life? are you kidding me? I would be dead by now.

      Like

      • 102 498a victim February 14, 2012 at 8:54 pm

        >>>> 98% husbands don’t go to jail because they pay off the police and cases are so slow in India.

        Aah…so everybody lies,,,,the husband, the police, the courts….whatever the girl speak is truth…if she says harrasment…there is a harrasment…is that how justice system should be?
        If you want a realistic picture fountainhead, see some stats. All other IPC sections attract 25% or higher conviction rate. Why only this section has so low conviction. If justice system was working on paying off, how are people getting penalized in higher numbers in other section.

        The slow cases, work against husbands. It is the husbands who go to Higher courts to request speedy trials. They know they will be aquitted, but they have to go to agony of visiting courts for years. While the wife goes scott-free after filing a false accusation. We, men’s organisations, have repeatedly requested law ministrty for speedy trials of 498a. But no women’s organisation ever support this.

        Like

      • 103 the fountainhead February 14, 2012 at 9:15 pm

        Ohhhh…….im sooooooooooooooooooo sorry for your plight.

        But you deserve it.

        Like

      • 104 Arun February 14, 2012 at 9:15 pm

        Dear the fountainhead,

        If police take money and bailout husbands then please give me a source in AP, I want to get rid of cases on me.

        Police are greedy I agree with that but not fools. Are you so Rich that your husband wanted to Kill you and get money from you?

        I am sure that is not the case, if I am not wrong you had some differences over few things may be major differences but no man will kill his own wife.

        Think seriously about this You loved or you had crush on some one or you dreamed of a handsome husband but all those qualities are not there in your husband unknowingly you had started pestering your husband which led to arguments and later fights….since you found section 498A a easy tool then you used it and made up dowry case against him.

        you are not only cheating your husband and kids if there are any but also cheating your own parents who worked hard day and night to provide you higher education, food etc… they still support you till they die but because they loved you and they trust you especially they trust your lies.

        put your hand on your heart stand in front mirror and say loudly that I have not lied to my parents? if you can do this your genuinely a women who suffered.

        Just because your parents supporting you it does doesn’t mean you are truly good person. they will support you even if you are a adulterous person(just saying an example,don’t take it to heart) because they love you and they brought you up with their own hands and they feed you with their own hands.

        if you have kids then remember this your kids need same love that you have been receiving from parents, don’t cheat them because of some misunderstandings. Start loving husband …forget your unreal desires for dream boy/attraction in the office/desire of a boy in your class.

        This is possible if you control you anger. so start controlling that. looks like you have some instigators (may be colleagues/friends or someone) avoid them first.

        498a is not the solution for marital problem, it is been created by bunch of angry husband less women, don’t include yourself in that group. Be identity of your own in righteous women group.

        Like

      • 105 ABC February 15, 2012 at 5:15 am

        Fountainhead,
        Despite the 498A your hubby’s facing, he’s better off without you in his life. It may take him a few years to get acquitted, but he can look forward to a peaceful, and maybe, a fun filled life with a some cute chick..
        On the other hand, not many self respecting men’d be willing to thump an Ex-498A gal like you. That’s the reality.
        Look forward to a lonely life my–I’m sure–not so lissome lass.
        Keep ranting !

        Like

  43. 106 unfortunate wife February 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    I agree to every word that Fountainhead has recently said in this forum – I couldn’t hold myself back from returning back to this site to support her.
    Fountainhead – I can totally see truth of the suffering that you have suffered because of ur heartless husband. Cheer up and I am sure God will surely punish the wrong-doers. And promise – we will fight till the end to punish such people who are a stigma on society.

    And pity ABC – may God give you better sense to understand few simple things stated here by Fountainhead. May be people like you have a conscience one day that makes them realise that women are never fierce- they are forced to become a tigress to save them, else maneater husbands will not leave a trace of innocent girls and i being the biggest example – never had a voice – and today i am forced to shout and fight till i die when some evil and wicked family trapped me into marriage to destroy me and my family beyond repair.

    And Arun- People who marry only for money – can any love or care create a heart in those heartless people? NO.
    some husbands are real monsters whom no love can win over, and who are so greedy that they marry only for money.
    So why do you always go to the emotional side of marriage – which doesnt even exist when a man views marriage just as a business and doesnt even consider his wife as a human being.
    Hope this clarifies some things and you get a better perspective. I can understand that you are someone who wanted to make your marriage work, but it couldnt happen due to your wife’s decision to seperate – but not all cases are such. Wish those real victims good luck. But understand – that a LAW is made with great thought.

    And Mr 498a victim – I escaped a dowry death means that i have suffered so much pain and harassment before the day my insane and inhumane husband and inlaws tried to kill me just because i told them i cant bring any more dowry! So I have all right to file a 498a against those greedy monsters who have ruined my life beyond repair. God will surely punish them to the core even if law fails to do so.

    Like

  44. 107 498a victim February 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    >>>> Ohhhh…….im sooooooooooooooooooo sorry for your plight.
    But you deserve it

    I know such insenstivity to male suffering is prevelant. It is exemplified by Renuka Chaudhary’s smile while saying that let few innocent men go to jail. I suppose your reasoning for me deserving it because my wife prefers to do this. Which comes down to feminist presemption that if a wife wants to send her husband to jail, she should be able to irrespective of is there any violence, demand of dowry or not.

    >>>> I escaped a dowry death means that i have suffered so much pain and harassment before the day my insane and inhumane husband and inlaws tried to kill me just because i told them i cant bring any more dowry! So I have all right to file a 498a against those greedy monsters who have ruined my life beyond repair.

    Ofcourse you have every right to file 498a, every married woman in India has this God-given right. The fact that you suffered(or not) pain and harrasment is immaterial, you obtain this right by virtue of marriage(as Fountainhead implied husbands deserve it if their wives choose so). I never questioned your right to file 498a. I questioned your choice to file 498a over 307. As you say, your husband tried to kill you, why not book him in 307 (7 years minimum), instead of 498a(3 years maximum)? Because your husband’s story will also be heard in gender-nuetral 307, but you wil be able to get “female advantage” in 498a? You want his arrest to happen without investigation, is that the reason? Hiding behind the veil of gender-specific laws you can make any claims that your husband destroyed your life. When courts hear his story, the truth may be that it is you and your family who destroyed him. And your husband will be addition to 98%.

    Like

    • 108 Raju January 28, 2013 at 1:05 pm

      your replyis soo awesome !!! Love you bro!! Yooooo Hooooo Yippeeee

      welll my wife left me and filed 498a and i got divorce as well … guess wat i settled with better girl who know how to respect elders and husband… and i love her the most for that … there is a saying “women is enemy of another women” is true!!

      Like

  45. 109 498a victim February 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    >>> But understand – that a LAW is made with great thought.

    And mistakes are made in this thought process. That is why laws are amended, repealed. Supreme Court has already asked government to amend this one, and commision has already been set up.

    Like

  46. 110 Arun March 29, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Dear unfortunate Wife and Fountainhead,

    What happened to you both all set in the family or decided to fight with husbands?

    Regards

    Like

  47. 111 498 victim April 1, 2012 at 5:01 am

    Hi Arun

    I echo ur words said on Feb 16, 2012 against to unfortunate Wife and Fountainhead regarding their respective husbands are trying to kill them. They should have filed 307 instead 498a which would have been more justifying to their respective husbands. Arun, I guess after reading ur reply on Feb 16 unfortunate Wife and Fountainhead would have realised and they are not only lieing to the law, their parents,family, society, themsleves but to the world also.

    In this world of democratic and independent country where everyone is independent everyone has their own right these kind of gender favoured laws should not be floated up.

    In a survey conducted, womens are just 10% physically less strong compared to mens. Leaving this 10% aside they are equal to men in all other aspects. Then y womens always fight for reservations, rights, gender laws maintenance etc……..

    regards
    veda

    Like

  48. 112 Srikanth April 19, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    I wholeheartedly support the comments made against 498a. It is entirely a law made to only threaten the groom and the groom’s family blindly and in no way is a protective law for women. It is also a threat to marriage in itself. Majority of cases being filed are false, statistics shows it. I read some claims by some opponents here saying something like no woman would like to see her home breaking. It is 100% false. In the present days, women like to be independent and left to her wishes to sleep around and roam around as per their wishes and want a husband only till a child is born. After that, she expects the husband to live as per her wishes and her family’s wishes. She wants to be the dominating one and rule over the in-laws and even treat them badly. The 498a is only a tool they use to threaten. If indeed there is truth, why do they wish to arrest before a trial. First let them prove and then make the arrest. Of course the ladies posting here in support of 498a are ladies. They hardly know what is self-esteem and respect in society. All they know is shopping, spendthrifts, and fool around and gossip ill about husband and husband’s family, so no point in explaining to them the reasons of the forum or blogs that have generated against 498a. If they only know how bad it hurts when someone in truth and yet punished and sent to jail and extorted, they would be here making so much noise. Justice must exist. First evaluation, investigations and proper procedures must be employed. I wonder why they support blinding the murderers who kill someone’s hard earned respect in society and murdering someone’s social status and just walk away cooly with nothing to loose like when proved false. The women are not running around the courts, they make the men and men’s family run around and they take fun out of it by defaming them. At least the courts should impose strict punishment to the girl and her family when case is proved false at least then they would think twice before lodging a complaint and verify themselves on how true they are.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 113 Tech18 June 24, 2016 at 11:55 am

      Hi dear
      “The women are not running around the courts, they make the men and men’s family run around and they take fun out of it by defaming them. At least the courts should impose strict punishment to the girl and her family when case is proved false at least then they would think twice before lodging a complaint and verify themselves on how true they are.”

      Truly believe that most dv and 498a cases are filed by girls who want more independence nd run away from responsipility of family. Such ladies are not family oriented, they are money oriented, goal oriented, job oriented. Its not bad to be ahead in career but not by sacrificing ur family..

      I would request every family facing wrong 498 or similar cases to not sit back and fight with full confidence and be regular to such forums to get updated nd boosted…

      Like

  49. 114 Another Victim November 27, 2012 at 6:12 am

    It has been proven beyond any reasonable doubt that 498a is misused in almost every case. 498a should be accepted only with one amendment – False Dowry Cases should be dealt with more severity than true dowry cases. Females filing false 498a cases are real anti-females in India. Firstly they harrass poor mothers and sisters of husband. Secondly these false cases ensure that cases of genuine victims get diluted and they don’t get justice.

    Husband should be allowed to file threat of 498a in category of 506
    (II) – equivalent to threat of killing. Only than greedy wives and their family will think thousand times before abusing this law.

    Like

  50. 115 kaka January 3, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    i think no one has entered fountainhead for a long time……………thatswhy she is frustrated.

    Like

    • 116 Yash January 25, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      I am a guy who suffered from false 498a… you know whats the reason? . I just didn’t agree for my wife’s demand of staying separately from my parents … yess its a trivial reason … my parents are aged and I am the only son. If i leave them and be “independent” with my wife then who will look after them ?
      I just told my wifes parents straight that i cant leave my parents.. and i wont leave my wife as well..
      what happened next was my wife’s dad took my wife to his house and told me that “until i (me) make a seperate house i wont send my daughter”.

      I told I cant make seperate house just for the sake of it !! the week later i get police complaint of dowry harassment!!

      This has become a strategy of such girls father who use thier daughter (just lika a pimp) to fulfil their needs …

      This is hard truth happening in india!!

      It has become a trend for indian girls to use this law to make husband to listen to whatever unlawful demand they ask.

      for your information I never took a single rupee for dowry and i was slammed with dowry harrassment case !!!

      i loved my wife a lot for that i was slammed with domestic violence and maintainance…

      Just think from the guys perspective when the guy loves his wife and he is slammed with DV!! . I was asked to pay 25 Lakhs so that they take back compalaint from police station !! what kind of law is this ?? Shame on those women who support such criminal womens.

      I can say women who use 498a other than its really intended are same as whores..

      Like

      • 117 Shruthi June 27, 2013 at 5:56 am

        Hi Yash,

        Mine is similar Story as yours .. I am at my parents home after divorce..no boy to come forward for marriage fearing of false case and police station cases.. they ask the reason for divorce and some how they get to know that false Domestic Violence Case was reason… 😦 I was married at young age at 24 got divorced at 25 … now I am 32 and still no marriage proposals.. i should have listened to my husband and i should have tried being good daughter in law.. earn their love .. but because of greed of my dad (he wanted to make a separate house for me and husband by living away from his parents) I ruined my previously happy married life… I request girls please have some patience in marriage… try to earn love eventually everything will fall in place … indian laws are to break family not to unite family… I am getting proposals like divorcee/widower/ old aged guy … but i was married to a young guy .. he got married to another girl and is enjoying honeymoons.. she is living my life :(:( …. please dont use law to control husband… try to love… and have patience… god bless all

        Like

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    Like

  54. 121 honey September 7, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    I have filed 498a case in police station and also filed for divorce in the court. I got divorce decree because he did not turn up and the judge made him as x party and granted me divorce but charge sheet was not filed up by police station and the CI is saying this has been closed and he is asking me to forget but I did not get my money back which was given by my parents for me to them at the time of my marriage with him.
    What I have to do to revoke the 498a case? Can I file 498a again in mahila police station?
    Please guide me further.

    Like

    • 122 Manisha April 14, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Did your husband harass you for dowry or has he taken an iota of dowry from you??? If yes, then file 498A. If No, then why are you thinking of 498A??? It is because of people like you only that genuine victims are nowadays looked upon with jaundiced eye. Think of the consequences with a cool head before harassing an innocent person.

      Like

  55. 123 Krishna October 26, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    Dear Mr. Fountainhead,

    If your wife’s dad has asked you to separate from your family, there is nothing bad about it because marriage itself means that you are associated with someone to form a new family and if you really love your wife you can do it without hesitation. You can make her understand that your parents are your responsibility and pay equal attention towards both the families.

    You would have protected your marital relationship, if you really loved it. Without your wife’s interest how can your father-in-law force her to stay with him. Don’t hide the mistakes on your side. No one is perfect on the earth. Your parents would have bothered her in one or other way or else she would have never dared to go for such a step. “A women will never give up her relationship without a pungent reason”. No parent would like to act as a pimp just for the sake of money.

    Please don’t speak ill of women. Try to understand, a girl who is faithful and sensitive will always shed tears because of the attitude of their husband’s side people and it makes her stubborn. One more thing, asking for maintainence is their right. When your parents are your responsibility understand that your wife is also your responsibility. Don’t ever speak ill of anyone because it all depends on our own behavior and attitude.

    Women are getting educated they want their equal rights. Attitude is not just the whole and sole property of man. Man is not any EXTRAHEAVENLY BODY and women need not be submissive to all the deeds you and your family do.

    Like

    • 124 ab_ra October 26, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      “Women are getting educated they want their equal rights” – Lets give equal rights to men as well. Let me point out where you missed equal rights for men:
      “One more thing, asking for maintainence is their right” – Where is the ‘equal’ right of man?
      “A women will never give up her relationship without a pungent reason” – You made a sweeping statement about all women. Can I ‘equally’ claim – A man will never give up his relationship without a pungent reason. So any claims of “my husband left me alone and eloped with other girl” are axiomatically false?
      “women need not be submissive to all the deeds you and your family do.” – I am sure you would ‘equally’ agree men are not submissive to deeds wives and their family do, and hence any that justifies such behavior is unjust.

      Like

  56. 125 Ganguly September 20, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Dear Ab_ra,

    I am pretty sure, all your grievances against women might have got some genuine reason. Why not ? No woman or man in this world ever had claimed, that, all the Women or Men are perferct simultaneously.
    However, I find disputes in what you had mentioned ( probably because I am a woman too ).
    You mentioned, Women want their equal rights. Correct. Point is, they want because they do not have it. Please check the famillies around you and start collecting the statistics for yourself on the following points :
    1. Rate of Woman birth vs Men birth
    2. Rate of Woman equal education vs Men equal education
    3. Rate of crimes against a woman vs rate of crime against men
    4. Safety of woman vs safety of man
    5. Expenses of upbringing a woman vs man
    6. Distance a woman can travel for education purpose vs a man
    7. %age educated woman in society vs a man
    8. %age of woman candidates for a particular exam vs a man
    9. %age of woman collegues in a company vs man in the same work place
    10. %age of Woman CEO in INDIA vs man……
    etc etc…

    Now, if you want to say, that, a woman gets everything equal, it’s just that they are not intelligent enough to score more, GOSH, you can be described by only one word – ‘MAN’ who take birth with this CHAUVINISM disease.

    Having written so much as above, I must tell you something – I think, Indian Law permitts husbands of less salary / no salary to be maintained by his working wife, and vice versa – SO CHILL …

    Thanking you,
    Ganguly

    Like

  57. 126 love it October 10, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Price The regular list price charged for one 15 ounce package of Keebler Chips Deluxe Peanut Butter Cups Cookies
    at Hartford, Connecticut area supermarkets is around $2. love it I know
    this is more calories than most ice creams, but it can be
    fewer calories than you would expect with Reese’s Cups and fudge swirls in the ice cream.

    Like

  58. 127 trilok September 22, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    gud evening sir i dont want to reveal my name im also a victim of false 498a,dvc act 2005, and maintance hello friends this is the message only to the innocent people who is suffering from false cases like me i dont want to blame any women because im having two female kids and im having two younger sisters we r a very happy family.Plz dont get emotional to all here i would like to share some thing facts superme court announced 498a as a legal terrorism i was got shock by seeing so many brothers from india and abrod their are commiting succide and the women are enjoying the money of the victims with free of cost dont worry god is there here as a indian who u will respect as a true freedom fighter is it Ghandhi or Subash chandra bose or Lal bhadur Shastri my remarks are i hate ghandhi from my childhood why can u guess fredoom has not come from british people without the involvement of subash ji but no body knows the whole credit has gone to Ghandhi one day will come my friends i want to ask one simple question to all that now a days women are playing with the sensentive and emotional feelings of men .men can leave without women can women can leave without men women is having all the shakthi in nonsense law when men is ready to leave without women why cant women has to prove themselves when they are equal to all .I hope no women can give this replay to this message.Im waiting for the replay.

    Like

  59. 128 ipc 498a fightr September 26, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    dear all husbands suffered from false ipc 498a,

    i want to start my conversation with this two thoughts

    every women in india wants their son to be a “shravan”

    but they dont want their husband to be shravan..”

    majority of women will complain things about her inlaws , but when it comes to her brothers wife and parents, she will complain that my brothers wife is bla bla bla as such her parents and family memberes are most cultured in d world

    women are a creature with long hair and short idea.

    for your refrence by vadodara session court

    one hearing of mr kalpesh rana who commit suside for false ipc 498a by his wife and inlaws in november 2014,
    he was working in saudi and could not get his passport coz of number of false case by his inlaws and his wife also spend/withdrawal 20,00000 rupees from his nre account. while she already reside seperately from 2011 to her parents home.(times of india nov.29 2014 edition)

    now kalpesh is no more and after his suside note he write name of his loved wife and inlaws.

    so they r in jail and no bail from session court.

    but suside is not d solution
    men should b a men…

    Like

  60. 129 trilok September 28, 2015 at 5:29 pm

    hi shruthi why dont u come in the lime light to this nonsense law .Hi shruthi i have not seen ur photo or i dont know where ru from i have just checked ur posting in this site and giving the replay to u im sending my my no 8712286321 if u feel that im correct u can call me .Here dont get anger if i say anything wrong to you.Firstly may be ur father is a drinker person only one thing i want to ask u before getting marriage u love ur parents very much that i dont want to blame u everyhuman being of bludy india can do this i know that in india a women can buy her lipstick with her own choice without gathring information from anybody why an women has got married a person he does not suit to her.Thanks shruthi u dont have children u itself facing lot of problems to get remarry if u got childrens wat about there life u himself facing a lot of problem in getting maariage.May be ur educated or not i dont know but for ur benifit and ur father benifit u have done this.one thing shruthi you only told that u got married at younger age 26 yrs now ur 32 years old nobody is instrest on u i will ask you if ur father dies you have 150%that u also die

    Like

  61. 130 FIGHTER October 26, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Humans are heading to destroy marriage by making law more favorable to woman,and that by following western cultures and culture of undivided family is almost vanished. the day will be not far away when humans will live like dogs, no marriege or contract marrige, IN THE TIME WHEN SOME ONE TRY TO MAKE “TARAJU” EQUAL THERE IS ALWAYS IMBALANCE SEEN.

    DOWRY WORD MADE LIKE ABUSIVE INSTRUMENT.
    IT WAS A GIFT FROM FATHER TO HER DOUGHTER WHEN THERE WAS NO COURT /RIGHT /LAW. EXISTED INDIA.(RECENT CENTURY MISSUED IT)

    AND INDIAN MORAL VALUES IF FOLLOWED TODAY ALSO INSTEAD OF BRITISH WRITTEN RULES/ LAW /CONSTITUTIONS ETC. THERE WOULD BE ALMOST NIL DIVORCE CASES OR ZERO WOMAN HARASSMENT
    AND ZERO RAPE CASES, EVERYONE SEES AND BELIEVES BRITHISH LOOTED INDIAS WEALTH BUT NOBODY FOCUSES THEY ALSO DESTROY OUR VALUES .

    Like

  62. 131 p November 7, 2015 at 6:53 am

    There is totally misused of 498A dowry case, by women in India. Married women phycologically harras husband and his parents too.

    She need only huge money and also punishment under faulse cases.

    Like

  63. 133 Ritika December 22, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    Sir,my case is in process on my husband.
    He filed two cases sec9 and 13 on me while I was living with him in his house.
    He even not filed from that city where he was with me,he filed from different city where he hav his second house,there I never lived after marriage.
    He and his family gave me slow poison then baby got expired in womb in complete time.
    Then he presented final report.after this we had worked on this and submit chargesheet in the court with the help of one or two selected senior officers.
    My mother in law,rather in law are totally free after doing wrong.my husband have extra marital affairs.He is enjoying his life.
    I have filed maintence and won this also.He is not giving maintenance.
    What shud I do to win the case.

    Like

  64. 134 Ashwini January 26, 2016 at 5:33 am

    Every it’s about Miss use of 498a what about those women’s who have really suffered from harassment and police are not fool to arrest the innocent one being women among them who has harassed I got so much difficulties to file fir after providing all proofs like bank statemen video audio recording still police don’t do action what about them , or 498a is only applicAble to women who murdered by in laws where is the justice ..???

    Like

    • 135 498aNvrTkHerBk July 14, 2016 at 5:49 pm

      Ashwini,
      This forum is for men who are victims of false 498a. We are all discussing that here. Pls do not discuss the real 498a cases HERE.. Go and discuss that some where else.. No one is discussing about rape here , about murder and murderers and death penalty and poverty and so many other things.. Because this forum is not for all that.. The people here searched false 498a and came here to help each other .. Go ask your questions in women oriented real 498a forums. Try lawyersclubindia.com. Ask your questions and lawyers will help you!

      We are hurt by vicious, evil, dubious, hurtful, sick, crazy women who messed up our lives and then also filed false cases and then also acts like innocent and our Indian system is biased towards them atleast for first year ! Once the court sees that they do not have any proof and the husband has enough proof we are acquitted from the 498a cases.

      We are not saying all women are crap! Similarly all men are also not crap! Respect us and we respect you – you are also a victim of something – but this is not the place for you!!

      If you do not get support despite these women biased laws then that is your problem. Everyone has problems. That is fate! Many people do not get proper justice in the world! Can’t do nothing about it !! If you are born poor and don’t even get education in childhood – what can you do about that ? If you are born blind / deaf/ mute – what can you do about that ? nothing ! Suck it up.. Meaning just Accept!! And they you maybe able to do something – because you stopped fighting it !! Same thing for us .. We will fight as much if court says we have to pay maintenance no other go.. Either pay monthly maintenance or Pay onetime huge settlement to the wife! Where is justice in that ? She gets the money and Then she gets married again or goes to job again! Where is justice ?

      Why are men always responsible for women when marriage falls apart?
      You women talk so much about equality ! When marriage falls apart don’t you have equal responsibility ?

      Again I’m talking about the false cases – where marriage falls apart due to incompatibility or some other reason and wife files false 498a !

      Like

  65. 136 Manisha April 14, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    It’s a great post. The law is meant for wives only. Innocent women who are being thrown into jail due to this law let alone husband and his male relatives. God knows how such a blind law could be made in a democratic country like India. Only God can save this nation of this law continues to exist forever.

    Like

  66. 137 Anonymous April 30, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Hello Advisers,

    I’m a Software Engineer by profession working in a MNC as a Team Leader.My qualification is B.Tech + Executive MBA. I got married 2 years back in 2014. My wife’s qualification is M.Sc & was working after marriage in a pre-school for 1.5 years(Salary-4500/- Rs per month). Our life was going very smooth during these 2 years(Feb,2014 to Feb,2016). I went abroad for 1 month in Feb,2016 & my wife went to her parental home for that time. Once I came back, I was supposed to go to bring her from parental home. But I couldn’t go because of work-pressure. She asked me to send money for rail ticket & she booked ticket & came to my city on 10th April,2016….I picked her up from Railway Station. We came back home, we enjoyed lunch, Dinner…We enjoyed movie together at home. Suddenly while going to Bed She asked me to get separated from my parents & live with her only. I told her that “This is 2AM in the night, this is not the right time to talk about all these. For sure I will not get separated from my parents because for 2 years marriage I can’t forget my parents 29 years struggle for my upbringings. If I need to get separated from my parents for situational demand in future, I may not be able to forgive you ever”. Then we got intimated & I slept finally. After I slept, she deleted all her relatives’ contact number from my cell-phone(Except her parents number) & she stole our original marriage certificate from my file. On next day i.e. 11th April me & my dad went to office & my sister(18 years old) went to school(She is in STD XII). My wife went to school at 12PM & called my mom from school only & told that she will be late due to some meetings. My mom never eat lunch without my wife. So, my mom kept on waiting for my wife. At 4:30PM My mom called me to check where is my wife as she was supposed to come back by that time. I called her, she picked up my phone & told that she boarded the train & going back to her native place & she will never come back. I asked her why she took that big decision? She said because I didn’t obey her order last night. Also she threatened me to file 498A against me & my family. I tried to call her parents & relatives as well taking the numbers from my mom’s phone. Everyone is using abusive languages & blaming us on false allegations like –

    1. “My mom didn’t give her food” –> Reality is told above.
    2. “I didn’t consult doctor for her during 2 years” –> Reality is that I’ve bunch of prescriptions of last 2 years(She forgot to steal these).
    3. “I was Suspecting her” –> Reality is opposite, She was suspecting me with many girls without any reason.
    4. “I didn’t give priority to her” –> Reality is that I didn’t obey her order of staying separated from my parents.

    & lot more, which I myself can understand are false. So, I think there must be some hidden reason at the center of the circle & They are running around with all those false allegations at the circumference of the circle.

    They have stopped all the communication channels. She blocked me from FB, Gmail etc. When I called her, she didn’t pick up the call & her mother asked me to go to their place if I’m guilty & sort this matter out & as per them I have to sign a legal document infront of them so that I will be permanently separated from my parents. We called them so many times after so much humiliations but they didn’t even call a single time to us.

    It’s been 20 days my wife left me & my life is like hell. What should I do, Please suggest…

    Like

    • 138 498aNvrTkHerBk July 14, 2016 at 1:38 am

      Hi Anonymous,
      Please print this and keep a copy in your home always.
      http://www.498a.org/contents/Publicity/498aSurvivalGuide.pdf
      This is MOST IMPORTANT. Read this survival guide.
      1) Do not try to contact her any more, by any means, through anyone. Absolutely no contact. Let her contact you if she wants to. Know this: when you beg, cruel ppl like your wife will make you beg more. So do not beg for communication with her.
      2) If they used abusive language that means they don’t respect you and they are blaming you by means of false allegations means they wont come begging to you at any cost.
      3) The Hidden reason is simple : they are trying to force you to do as they want.
      4) Do not go to their house, do not agree that you are guilty and do not sign any legal document (without consulting a lawyer).
      5) Do you have children? This is very crucial. If a child is involved then everything gets complicated. No Child – then you can come out of this within 2-3 years max.
      6) Ignore her completely. Go about doing your job regularly. After a long time, logically there are 2 things she might do.
      A) come to talk to you and ask you to agree to her demands. If this happens you simple refuse the demands which you cannot agree to.
      B) file a 498a case or DV case against you as she is threatening
      7) In case of 498a or DV case, the Survival Guide will totally help you.
      8) If she files false 498a or false DV case, never take her back at any cost, because that is like keeping a Nuclear Bomb in your home and not knowing when it will explode. Your life wont be safe and secure.
      9) Be careful while choosing your lawyer. Lawyers are liars. Do not BLINDLY trust them no matter what.
      10) Police – NEVER trust them and dont give them any important information. But pay them off if you need to here and there a little bit – so as to get useful information. Be careful while interacting with police. They will try to make money from both parties.
      11) No matter what case she files, do not give any money to anyone (including Police) even if you go to Jail.
      12) Be prepared to get an Anticipatory Bail (AB). For this you need a lawyer and you need some money. Keep both ready. In case of 498a, the AB cannot be gotten from lower courts, you will be denied 99%. Hence apply for AB at High Court. This will cost you some money. But once you get your AB, 90% of the 498a case is over.
      13) Do not file many cases against your wife due to vengeance. If your lawyer suggests you to do this, then ditch him and get a new lawyer. Because the best way to deal with 498a or DV case, is by defending yourself on these cases and filing Divorce based on Mental Cruelty due to these false cases.
      14) Do not waste time and money on Lawyers by filing new cases against your wife.
      15) Collect proofs for proving your case. Never go to the opponent party (your wife and her parents) house or premises or work place.
      16) Above all “Be patient” right now.
      17) If your wife wanted to live with you, no matter what she will come back to you. If she does not come back and files 498a – then definitely file Divorce.
      18) Does’nt matter who files Divorce, you have to pay her maintenance or alimony “according to law”. Better file Divorce and be done with her.
      19) Once she files 498a case, then the court case procedure will start. Women always get a lot of support in the first year. If they have proofs – then they will win for sure. If they do not have proofs, their case becomes weak as time goes by. If you have proof that you did not do dowry harrassment and that you treated your wife nicely (Pictures, messages, emails, letters) then you can easily win the 498a case.
      20) Maintenance case is separate – there are many sections she can file under. Depending on the section you need to contest accordingly. After 2 years most women, wanting to move on, will come to talk to you for final one time settlement. Instead of dragging the case, do negotiate this final settlement and give her some amount – but also make sure she withdraws all cases : 498a, DV and Maintenance Case.
      21) And she wont be filing Divorce case as she doesn’t want to let you go so soon so easily. But you need to move on in life, so you need to file for Divorce and for this also you need lot of proof that she did cruelty to you.
      22) If she files 498a never file RCR Restitution of Conjugal Rights, because she may come back and wreak havoc in your life. Moreover, if you file, then while filing Divorce, you will be faced with questions.
      23) If she files 498a – SHE IS YOUR ENEMY. DO NOT FORGET THAT EVER. AND DO NOT SHOW MERCY/LENIENCY.
      Hope this helps you.
      Yours sincerely,
      498a Victim who will never ever take his wife back.

      Like

  67. 139 Avni July 10, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    Hello sir..i hv a kid of 3 yrs..my husband started harassing me after a very short period of marriage for dowry ..he has left me n my kid for 1 not half yrs in my mother’s home ,there is hv filed a case 125a for maintenance then he came to take me back i hv returned with him but again he started harassing me for dowry (cash) but dis time I told my parents not to give any cash amount bcs they r nt giving me a single rupees even for basic needs so my parents started
    giving gold article to me so now my mom in law asked me sale that gold for my husband’s education loan but I refused to give so they understand now they vl not get anything so started forcing me for mutual divorce not my husband ws nt ready to give me any kind of maintenance..i refused so he has taken my all ornaments and cash I gone to police he came not said “156a pahle se dal rakhi hai” but my police hv filed my FIR against him under sec 323,380,498,n 506..but he got anticipatory bail soon after that.n he also nt given recovery of my ornaments..n ornaments r near abt “58 tola gold” not he also given ” chalan” pls suggest me how I can get recovery of my articles..

    Like

    • 140 498aNvrTkHerBk July 14, 2016 at 5:55 pm

      Avni,
      This is not the right place for you to get help. For eg : I am a male involved in a false 498a I can give advise in similar cases but not in your case as I don’t know.

      Pls try lawyersclubindia.com or kaanoon.com.

      Like

  68. 141 Adv. Ajay Bhakt, Amravati Maharashtra January 25, 2017 at 9:48 am

    Good and useful u always produced

    Like

  69. 142 Lucky or Unlucky April 5, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Friends,

    Got into the same situation lately. It seems like it’s a repeated story for most of us. Minor incompatibility issues between a couple or family problems converts into heated arguments and then fight between parents, relatives, then famous personalities of town/villages get involved and then either divorce by a husband or 498a, DV and 125 by a wife. Which comes first it doesn’t matter at all. When it happens, either it’s a male or a female both reflects back at some later stage to answer what we could have done to avoid this situation. But nobody accept their faults because the matter is up their in the court and trust is broken to very much extent. No U-turn even if both wants to get back because relatives, parents, friends are influencing and you trust everyone else except your spouse. Situation becomes worst when children are involved. In my case, wife didn’t leave the house. She is staying in the same house so far. Is it good or bad? I feel it is good as I can spend time with my kids.Sometimes, I feel bad when I see her coming late, misbehaving on regular occasions, using kids to get few currency notes. It’s also a risk as she can file any false complaint any time. Kids start doing things to make their mumma and papa both happy. They start cutting their Birthday Cake twice, Diwali Pooja twice and so and so. They feel bad when they were not allowed to meet their Father but they can’t say it openly as they also respect mumma’s emotions. WoW! isn’t it sad?. But at last, I convince myself that I am in much better situation than others as I am getting an opportunity to fulfill my duties as a Father (so far, you never know what will happen tomorrow). To very much extent both are responsible for this situation.

    Yes, same happened with me DV, 125 and then a dowry case. Their Idea was to get a property during the mediation in the name of security and then push my parents outside the house (and why not me?). So it’s making your husband insecure in the name of your security. They tried their best as BAIL sword was right their on my neck. I didn’t bow down but I tried to do my best to make her understand that this is a wrong path and everything will be destroyed but as I said, you trust all except your spouse and you are too late for such conversations. After filing these cases girl feel as she got some magic power and as soon as mediation fails and a boy gets bail that power is almost gone. Then only one thing remains i.e maintenance. And , I guess we all know what happens further i.e diferent paths in different cases, some settle down for divorce, some continue with long litigation, some continue thier life with a separated status etc.
    BUT
    But my idea to post this is not to repeat the same procedure which we already know but to share my experience on how we could (irrespective of a male or a female) avoid such situation. I learnt following :-

    1. You take a first step in spoiling your relationship the moment you involve any third person in your relationship. Even parents are third person between Husband and Wife.

    2. Communication is the key to build a good relation. Communication is both about telling and listening skills. It’s important to convey what you actually mean. Sometimes, we think something else while speaking and say something else. We don’t confirm whether the person got exactly what you wanted to convey. The same fact applies on listening skills. It’s important to listen to other person with an open and clear mind.

    3. No relationship can survive under the spell of threat and intimidation

    @ the fountainhead, it seems you are lost or not active after 2012. But hats-off to you for giving good arguments to all the men on this forum. I respect everybody’s opinion and did not want to make any personal comments but can’t stop myself saying following few lines. Honestly, speaking you could be more calm, composed and confident in putting forward your view point. There is a very thin line between being confident and being arrogant. The moment you learn not to cross this line, you solve majority of the problems for yourself. Sorry to say, that most of your replies were abusive and reflects arrogance.

    An educated girl of 21st century must raise her voice on or before the day of marriage the day dowry is demanded or threat comes to break the marriage if dowry demands are not met.

    But these girls of 21st century awakes after years of marriage because there are incompatibility issues or either a boy or a girl has an extra marital affair or girl or boy has problem with her/his in-laws or what?

    I agree there might be some genuine cases where boy side demands dowry after marriage but how much, you know better perhaps.

    I don’t know the solution to the problem i.e. growing number of 498a cases but you can try to find out if you empathize i.e. enter into other feelings. So I will end my post by asking a question to all MEN (please don’t mind this question as I am also a 498a victim)

    Here is my question?

    Without 498a, It’s easy for a man to leave the relationship easily at any point of time if he is not happy. What if women is not happy with the relationship and want to move out of it? How she can make her future secure? Though women are doing very well in their career and few percentage of women are earning more than men but this percentage is very low. Moreover, no girl wants to marry a guy who is earning less than them. Majority of Women still have lower bank balance and no property in their name if they choose to get out of relationship. What is the way out for them? Unless, we find balanced answer to this question we will continue to face false 498a. Isn’t it?

    Like


  1. 1 Advice to women on IPC 498a, DV case, maintenance, divorce etc. - Men Rights India Trackback on December 14, 2015 at 9:45 am

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Some Interesting Stats On Arrests Of Women

In 1930, the British govt arrested 17,000 women for their involvement in the Dandi Yatra (Salt March). During 1937 to 1947 (10 Years), they arrested 5,000 women involved in the freedom struggle. From 2004 to 2006, the govt of India arrested 90,000 women of all ages under 498A. On the average, 27,000 women per year are being arrested under this flawed law. These are stats from the NCRB.

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The family of the writer was tortured by the Indian Police in an attempt to extort over a $100,000 by holding them in custody for over a week. The police, in cahoots with the magistrate and the PP, did this due to the ridiculous allegations made in a 498A case by his embittered ex-wife. She filed the case years after he and his family had last seen her. Thousands of 498A cases are filed each year in India by women seeking to wreak vengeance on their husbands and in-laws. Enormous sums are extorted from intimidated families implicated in these cases by corrupt Indian police officers and elements of the Indian judiciary. The author and his family haven't bribed any public official nor have they given in to the extortion. This blog aims to raise awareness of due process in India. The content of this blog constitutes, opinions, observations, and publicly available documents. The intent is not to slander or defame anyone or any institution and is the manifestation of the author's right to freedom of expression – with all the protections this right guarantees.

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July 2009
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